HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Happy Halloween Everyone! So, the party went off without a hitch. It was a lot of fun and I'm kind of embarrassed to say, I won the costume contest...at my own party! Okay so it was totally legit, people actually voted for me, but you still feel bad accepting a $50 cash prize when it's your party and you advertised the prizes for best costume...Anyway, I was Madonna from the 80's. The black outfit, you know, black lace gloves, short black pants with a lacy black skirt on top, lace shirt, black bow in my hair, lots and lots of gummy bracelets, which by the way, when I was younger and owned a million of them I don't think they cost as much as they do now. I spent over $50 at Claire's buying just the damn jewelry for this costume! Oh well, guess I made my money back. Second place went to Pedro from a Napoleon/Pedro duo. Two people showed up as Napoleon Dynamite which was bound to happen but they were both quite funny! And last place went to Mr. T. My friend Dave is the king of Halloween Costumes. He and I live and die for this holiday.

Some other great costumes of the night:

• Punky Brewster
• Little John
• Batman with down syndrome (don't ask)
• Pink Lady
• George Michael (from the 80's pre public display of penis incident)
• Kate Moss (with coke on the nose and a mirror full o' lines)
• Pocahontas
• Geisha
• Jay Z (we call the sweet one J so he showed up with a "Z" on his chest - clever)
• Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz - WITH a real live toto.
• Horny Devil (there's always one!)
• A Black Jack Dealer
• Locke, Jin and Sayid from LOST
• Captain Boobs
• A Disco Ball

We had a massive game of Flip Cup going on. I rock at flip cup! As do most of the other classy ladies at the party! I don't know what I'll ever do if I redo my basement. The stench the next day was so repulsive...WOW!

And the most amazing part of the night and the confirmation that I am getting old is the fact that we had a "Kids Room" at the party. That's right, there were children chillin at an adult Halloween Party but it's gotten to the point that if we don't have a room for the children some of the parents won't show up so, the kids are in a room hooked up with a large supply of Disney movies, popcorn, snacks and little toys that I bought the little brats. The kids are happy, the parents are happy and I'm happy. It's all good. And one of the last guests to leave was a parent group with a kid crashed out in the "kids room". They left at 5am!

Anyway, I'll bore you no longer. I'm going to try and post some pic's without faces even though that is kind of pointless when it comes to Halloween pictures/costumes. I also don't have a full shot of myself so I'll do my best to show you my winning costume. Happy Halloween everyone. Go eat some candy!

Napoleon Dynamite and Second place costume PEDRO

Chiquita Banana

George Michael and Madonna


Some of the ladies including second from the left, Kate Moss who...


Brought her own little treats for later!


Madonna and a hot little devil

Mr T and Madonna

Ummm...I'm pretty certain that Friday's are never supposed to feel like Monday's! This day is truly and most definitely FROM HELL! I have never been this busy and bogged down on a Friday before. Is it really only 4:30??? UUGGH

Have lots to do this weekend, mainly the annual Halloween Party. Will be taking lots of pic's and hopefully posting many. I hope everyone has a lovely, drunken weekend...I plan to!

Half-Nekkid HUH?

Oh my god, I can't believe it's Thursday already. I am so unprepared...I obviously didn't get creative for this HNT, okay I didn't do anything...So, here is my weak attempt at something half-nekkid.

This is a shot of the Sweet One's arm this summer when he got stung by a bee while mowing my lawn. See what the man does for me? He battles flying insects filled with poisonous venom just to keep me and my grass happy! He's a good man. But...i made up for it. I took care of him and dressed his wounds. The poor thing actually ended up getting stung 6 times that fateful day! There was a hive in my yard that we didn't see and apparently bees get mad when you run over their home with a loud, scary lawn mower repeatedly...who knew? So, now that it's getting to that point where we don't have to mow anymore we'll celebrate the disappearance of the pesky flying beasts that we had to deal with during the summer. Happy HNT everyone!

2005 High Heel Race

So the rain never let up...it actually started raining harder once we were out in the elements last night. The costumes were top notch and without boring you too much, I am including some of the good ones below. We went to a spot called Peppers where we had a table reserved under the awning/tent like thing. It was cold and rainy but the drinks were big and strong...you know, the way I like my men...and I had a waffle fry and a few pieces of calamari and they were tasty. At one point one of the super gay guys that were in our party told me, or rather, announced that he "doesn't eat fried food". I wanted to laugh but instead just muttered that "that's ALL I eat"! Okay, I don't really but shit - I could never be a gay guy! It takes way too much effort and i really do love french fries...who knew getting it in the ass was so much work?

So, without further ado, here are some pic's from last night's festivities, and by the way, gay men LOVE to get their pictures taken!


Pauly Shore's long lost sister

Smokin'!

The Crowd at Peppers

Man or woMAN?

I always knew the Cowboys were gay

CHARGer!

Foxy Lady!

How appropriate...

Dolphin

Wowza!

Hotties!

60's chic

San Fran, of course

That is one ugly set of chicks

It's martini time

Princesses

Threesome

oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree

It is cold, rainy and miserable here! It rained the majority of last week, it was sunny and beautiful on Sunday and now we're back to rain. I had to turn my heat on yesterday! I am so bummed. I wanted to stay in bed today but I had to make myself get up and work out because I think I'm going to fire my trainer after this week...I gotta motivate myself.

So...tonight I am going to the 2005 17th Street High Heel Race. In a nut shell it is a costume party/parade/race in the streets of the Dupont Circle area of Washington, D.C. - better known as the gay community, or FUN! It's been a tradition since about 1981 and is a way to kick off Halloween week. Think drag queens, think elaborate costumes, think 3 foot pink bouffant wigs mixed with alcohol. It doesn't get any better. The only problem is that it seems like it's cold and rainy on this day every year but it's a good time, everyone gets involved and it's so damned funny. Hopefully, if it's not too cold and rainy tonight I will be there and I will get lots of great pic's to show everyone tomorrow...Be prepared! Until then, here are some pic's from last year's race:

http://www.metroweekly.com/scene/index.php?k=257

http://www.boldnewlook.com/screamsuite.html

blah...blah...

So, the U2 concert was good. Not great, just good. I was right. Bono is waaayy to preachy! At one point I was just like okay dude, less talky, more singy! He even went so far as to put up the 800 number for the One campaign for everyone to call...That was annoying. They didn't play a lot of the songs I would have liked to hear. All in all it was a good time. I can't say I didn't have fun but I was a little disappointed that I wasn't completely blown away.

In other news, I am getting the casa all put together for the big annual Halloween Party!! I can't wait. The Sweet One and I are getting it all "scary" and party proofed. It's really funny because this year a couple that we're friends with decided they were going to have a Halloween party too, which is all fine and good but we have one every year and have a large group that comes to ours. I usually just send out the good old evite. Well this year I got a hard invitation in the mail from this other couple! I didn't care that much because it's an honest mistake (so I thought) - two friends have a party then some of your common friends have to decide which party to go to or stop by both, no big deal right? It would have seemed innocent until I ran into one of the common friends at happy hour on Friday and they told me that the female of the couple specifically said "i better hurry up and send out invitations out before the Funky Bee sends hers out"!!! Can you believe that little...it's okay. Everyone has already responded that they will be at my party, and let's be honest here...mine will be WAY more fun (I'm not bitter, I'm not!).

This weekend was busy as usual but fabulous. The Redskins kicked the 49ers ASSES with a 52 - 17 point win. It was a great game to be at.

Also, I bought these shoes last week...hot huh?



realized that I couldn't make more than a lap around the house without my feet hurting and feeling like I was going to literally fall over, so I went out and bought these instead...

they are a little more practical, they feel good, they are dead sexy and they aren't pink so I can wear them with and without a lot more...

And on the complete other end of the spectrum, I bought these too!


I love them. It says that they are insulated and warm inside when it's 25 degrees below zero!! They will come in handy during the latter part of football season and if, god forbid, it snows around here at some point. Gotta shovel the walk in style you know! Anyway, that's all the blabbering I'll do for now. Hope everyone had a great weekend and is getting through Monday okay!

by the way...

I'm going to see U2 tonight! I wouldn't have personally sought out tickets because, number one, I can't afford them and two, U2 isn't my fave - don't get me wrong, I like em and all and I'm sure seeing them live will highten my opinion of them but I think Bono is waaaay too political, etc, etc, I can go on and on...but The Sweet One's bro got tickets and told us we were going so...I guess I have to...he he! I can't wait. It's gonna be great. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow!! Then you all can be green with envy...or tell me to fuck off because you could care less about U2...either way.

HNT with my new best friend

Well, I couldn't leave my nano out...SO - here's me and my new friend. Happy HNT everyone!!




On a less sexy, but a freakin adorable note, one of my best friends gave birth to her first and the group's first baby today! He is delicious! I love him already. Happy Birthday little DJ!

*Confused? Find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday and the hot ass that started it by clicking on the purdy blue button to the right...

Not much to say...

This weekend was nice. We went to the Sweet One's cousin's wedding in VA. It was fun, food was good, blah, blah, blah...I am tired as hell for some reason. I just can't get un-tired this week. I even went to bed at 10:30 last night!! That is an all time record for me. I'm what we like to call a night owl! I did however get up at 6am to meet Trainy Trainertons. Working out sucks!!

I have been super busy at work yesterday and today so I don't really have much to say or much time to say it since I feel under the gun. I do have this to report...I GOT MY CAMERA BACK BITCHES! Look out HNT! As promised, I'm going to make this one a very good one!!!

Happy Hourzzzz

Went to happy hour with the work folks last night and it turned into happy hours and hours and hours...we were a MESS! and I feel like total shite today! I snoozed from 8am - 9:30am this morning and then made myself get up.

Now my team at work are all very creative and talented people. We do good things together but our old manager was a total bitch who used to play us against each other. She was fired about 5 months or so ago (I'm still smiling and celebrating!) and it was the best thing that has ever happened to this place. My team is just that now...a TEAM. Everyone gets along. Everyone works well together, respects each other and truly, genuinely likes one another. I never thought I would see this day. I work with some really cool people and last night really brought the freak out in everyone!!

We started happy hour at a place called Buffalo Billiards in Dupont Circle (for those familiar with D.C.). Our boss, the frat boy we like to call him, started by telling everyone that it's much wiser to just order doubles so that you don't have to keep ordering drinks as often...uh oh! That's all we needed to hear. The doubles were flowing let me tell you...There was lots of pool, drinking, talking...then our big boss, our bosses boss shows up out of nowhere with a tray full of shots! That's when I knew the night was gonna get ugly...and the fact that we totally spaced on ordering any food so we were getting trashed.

We hung out there pretty late then some of us went over to a bar called Cafe Citron. Salsa music, lots of horny latin men, and of course very sexy ladies! We were dancing while standing on our booth seats...that's just what you do there...you dance wherever you are! It was getting very ugly...I don't remember all the details (he he he) but I know there were a few tequila shots involved - uggh, just typing that is making my mouth water like I'm gonna hurl! Anyway, two co-workers went home together!!! One was making out with some random dude, another was fighting them off like a warrior, and another took some random guy home with her...I think. This was about 2:30am (we started at 6pm!) they were going to get food and at that point if I would have eaten I would have definitely puked, although today I am wishing I would have eaten something so my head wasn't pounding so badly! Anyway, it was a good night. Now get me some french fries!!!

Half - Nekkid Thursday

Okay, so I'm using an old picture but it's all I got.

My damn camera hasn't come back yet. I've only had it since this summer and this is the second time I've had to send it back to be fixed! It's a great camera but I think I got a lemon!!

It's raining, again.
I have a ton of work to do because I've been too busy downloading music onto my nano all week, AND...one of the IT guys at my office kind of lectured me for downloading too many programs that are "out of policy"! I hate him. I am the least of this company's worries but now I feel bad and don't want to get in trouble. This post is for you asshole IT guy...You can kiss my half-nekkid ASS!

I'm going to happy hour tonight and I plan to make myself feel better. Much, Much BETTER!

iPod Nano I heart U!

As of October 12th 2005, 4:00pm
Songs downloaded = 300
Accessories bought = 3

• Arm Band
• iCar Play
• On Stage speaker system

Work done = O, zip, ziltch, nada...

Still playing with my new toy. Can't seem to surface into the real world. Maybe tomorrow...Still don't have a camera so HNT should be interesting. I wish my iPod took pictures the way my camera did, then I would marry it!!

The weekend was great. Did everything I planned and it was wonderful! I got my iPod Nano yesterday (it really is impossibly small) so I have to admit that I am very distracted right now downloading music onto my new little best friend!!! I will not get any work done above and beyond the minimum nor will I have any interesting posts this week...I can just feel it.

It's shitty and rainy here and I'm pretty much over it. It has been raining for like 5 days now and I am done with the rain now. Okay Mother Nature, you can stop now!! I think I am going to the Apple store at lunch to buy accessories for my toy! YAYY

The Paul McCartney show was so great on Saturday even though he played a few new songs from his new cd - they weren't half bad but I'm an old schooler and prefer the old Beatles stuff...I didn't get choked up or cry this time though so that was good. I took some horrible pictures with my camera phone. I'll try to post them but it's kind of pointless since they are such poor quality and because it might take away from my iPod time...he he.

Anyway, I'll be back when I have something of substance to say...that may be never!

It's FRIDAY!!!

Thank the fucking LORD! This week has been from hell and I am ready to CHILL! Since we returned from our two weeks of flying around the country the Sweet One and I have been saying that we are going to spend a whole weekend in bed BUT since we are so damn popular (he he) we have had a million things to do and have a million things going on every weekend in October! We have settled on this Sunday. We will sleep, have sex, sleep some more, have a fantastic meal, watch the Skins game, have sex again...you get the picture! I can't WAIT!!!

Tonight we're going to see Bob Mould at the 9:30 Club. Anyone who's ever been to D.C. and visited this club knows what a cool, small venue it is. I love it there!! And they always have really good shows. A lot of artists really like to perform there because it's small but not too small, cool without being pretentious and crazy without having to worry that someone might shoot you during a concert...? You know what I'm saying...

Saturday I am cleaning my house from top to bottom. Sadly, the poor house has been neglected as of late and I plan to put a stop to that once and for all! Saturday night we're going to see Paul McCartney with my parents and brothers. We grew up listening to the Beatles and it's very nostalgic for me to hear Paul play all of these songs that I love LIVE. I know I'm a huge dork but the last time we saw him, I guess it was 3 or 4 years ago, I totally got choked up and teary during his performance. I'll try to keep it under control this time! And I know that most people either love or hate the Beatles/Paul McCartney. I happen to love them...sorry to all you haters out there. My parents are totally cool too - they love to drink just as much as we do. We're all gonna meet up at this awesome steak house, The Capitol Grille , where none of us can afford to go without my parents, drink martinis and eat a great meal then head to the concert. It should be a great night.

Sunday...well, you know what happens Sunday! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. I hope to share some great stories on Monday!

I almost dislocated my shoulder taking off my sports bra this morning...

the ladies know what I'm talking about! Glad there wasn't a camera in the bathroom. I'm sure I looked like a fool! HA!

HOT ASS

Here's a little HOT ASS for HNT!

I am a little sad and cranky today (more on that later), AND I don't have a camera so no pictures of me this Half-Nekkid Thursday.

This is a picture of a crazy man/woman leaving the Austin City Limits Festival on the last night. He was clearly a he because he had facial hair - a LOT of it, as in a full beard...but he also had boobs and he wore this semi thong thing and let me tell you...he shouldn't have. BUT it was funny and entertaining and he/she got what she wanted I suppose! Freedom of expression. That's what it's all about people. That and the hokey pokey. So, happy Half-Nekkid Thursday everyone!

If you have been living under a rock and don't know what HNT is, please click the purdy blue box to the right to find out more...

It's humiliating story time girls and boys...

Okay, it's a good thing I enjoy sharing my most embarrassing experiences with complete strangers all over cyberspace. And lucky for you there are no pictures to go along with this post!

So, like most women I know, I like to stay trim and slim down below, if you know what I mean! Now I of course take the appropriate actions - shaving, waxing, you know...the normal stuff, but sometimes you must go above and beyond or should we say below and beyond. Anyway, you have to do bush maintenance if you will... I am no fan of 70's bush (NSFW).

The other day I got out my trusty trimming scissors, or my bush trimmers as I like to call them - yes I have a special pair just for this special little area. Got prepared to make it all puuurdy down there, began a little snip here, a little snip there and then I heard a much BIGGER snip and realized that I actually snipped my SKIN! Yes, that's right. I slashed my most intimate of areas all in the name of vanity! They say that fashion hurts some times but this one really stung.

I think I went into shock. I don't want to get too too graphic but there was a flap of skin and I just kept hearing the sound of scissors cutting through flesh over and over in my mind. I kind of wanted to hurl. It wasn't down below - below. It was more towards the underwear line. I guess if I wore underwear this would make more sense but I'm trying to get as specific and describe the situation as well as I can without grossing you all out too badly. So I inspect. There's skin. There's blood. I'm sad. I immediately put a little baby band-aid on the spot. It was kind of cute to be honest with you, but at the same time I now have an ugly, scary CUT in my area! This is the kind of thing you see in movies. I laugh at the trimming challenged and here I am cutting up the petunia like a Soprano after a hit!!

Ladies and gents please join me in mourning the injury of pretty petunia pussy. May she get well soon! Oh and as a public service announcement, PLEASE be careful when trimming - that goes for you man-scapers out there too!

Stole this from Ago-go. Don't worry I won't be tagging anyone. Just thought it was cute so play along if you want. Here are the rules:

Go to Google and click on the images link.
Type in the following and post the first (or your favorite) picture the search engine finds.
- The name of the town where you grew up
- The name of the town where you live now
- Your name
- Your Grandmother’s name (pick one)
- Your favorite food
- Your favorite drink
- Your favorite song
- Your favorite smell

Here are mine:

The town where I grew up - looks exactly how I remember it...

The town I live in now...there are LOTS of penguins in my town.

My name...hmmm




Grandma - never knew she was in a band with Bob Hope!




Favorite food! YUM




Favorite Drink! YUMMIER




Okay, so this came up when I punched in a song title but honestly I don't have ONE favorite song. I have way too many favorites so I will call this best feeling for now...

Favorite Smell!!



The End...

play if you'd like, no obligations!

Well, I have to admit that I had a pretty pathetic existence this weekend and this post is bound to put you all to sleep so if you're getting ready for a nap or beddie bye tonight enjoy...

I am still not quite sure how I managed to get up and work out on Friday morning (mind you I was falling asleep on the bike) and then show up to work! I still feel like it was all a bad, bad dream. I went home by about 4pm and crashed. I don't know that I've ever felt so bad in my life. I could literally not get my lead head off the pillow. The Sweet One, living up to his name, came over, fetched me tissues, drugs and hot tea then went about his Friday night plans. When the Claritin finally kicked in and I could lift my head again I got up and cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen! I knew I was really sick then!!

Saturday was so much better. I could breathe, I was happy and I think I was still a little drugged. My head was definitely in the clouds but the Mimosas at the Maryland game made it all better. It was a beautiful day and the Terps beat the the Cavaliers 45 - 33 so it was all good. I planned to go out on Saturday night. I even had a few great offers from the girls but I just couldn't do it. My body was screaming at me to stay home and thank god I listened...

Sunday was another day filled with football and tailgating. The weather was gorgeous. The meds were pumping through my blood and the bloody mary's and mimosas were adding to my welcome high! The Skins pulled it out with a 20 - 17 win over the Seahwaks in overtime. We continued with a long stretch of post game tailgating and then the long and sleepy drive home. I got to drive two very sleepy, very loudly snoring men home and I felt the alcohol and the medication wearing off with every mile. It wasn't a good feeling. I got home, fell asleep on the couch and awoke just in time to watch Desperate Housewives. I have to admit, I may be giving that show up. It's kind of lame really...the story line isn't really pulling me in and the little "mysteries" that had me hooked last season are just not there this time around. All in all the show is really just kind of dumb...

Anyway, I'm at work today. Back to the grind. I should have stayed home and slept off the last bit of this damn cold but I thought it would be better to come in and share my phlegmy cough with everyone. YUM!

Thank you all for wishing my snotty ass well! It meant a lot. I thought of you all with each blow of the nose. NOW...back to business. I'll be catching up on all of you this week. I've missed you guys...