Oh happy day, it's time to potty train my toddler! I'm not quite sure what the hell I'm doing but I do know one thing, I am not against bribery. Cars, toys, candy, that's right, it's all up on a shelf above the toilet as special prizes for going in the toilet. Unfortunately my kid's no dummy and he can make himself pee like a champ. I have a feeling this process is going to cost me more than I had first anticipated...

Oddly, and I know I'm jinxing myself here, but it's going really well. And thank goodness because training a child to go to the bathroom is not for the lazy sportsman, which I will admit to being. It's constant asking and then going to sit in the bathroom. What a pain in the ass...no pun intended. And then, you realize that once you get over the hump and your brilliant kid can wear big boy underwear and crap on the toilet all by himself that TA DA! You have to wipe his ass!! It's not like changing a diaper. I get that, I'm okay with it. NO! I guess I was under some weird illusion that once the diapers were gone we were free. NOT TRUE! Holy lord, I'm going to be wiping people's asses for the rest of my life. What did I get myself into? What was I thinking? Can we go back to diapers?