The Funky Bee

My own personal blah, blah, blah...

Friday, September 30, 2005

i have a new trick...

If I lean my head forward too far, which keeps happening because I think someone stuck a lead weight in my forhead while I slept, snot comes running out of my nose like a little river! Isn't that nice?

Now I will die please...

did I mention that I'm at work? yeah, I'm an idiot! If I would have gotten all of my work done earlier I could be home but noooo! I suck. I have a ton of shit to get done before I can comfortably go home but it's all gonna suck because you can't do good work with an elephant sitting on your head! I don't know if I've mentioned that I work for a television network before but I do, and I write some things that go on air. I would love to tell you all where I work so you could tune in to hear some of the hilarity because whatever I write today should not end up on air...but it will!

Okay I'm done. Being sick on the weekend SUCKS! I must fight through it. I must drink this cold away! there are too many football games to attend this weekend....

Thursday, September 29, 2005

pigs for Half-Nekkid Thursday




So, I have been under the weather and so bogged down with actual work since I've been back from Austin but I can't forget about all of my bloggie loves! I miss you guys. Hopefully I'll be back on my feet...he he, by this weekend and I can catch up with everyone's lives/blogs!




This picture is from the Austin City Limits Festival. Those lines you see are not tan lines...they are DIRT lines! It was so dusty and dirty that everyone had dirty pigs, and many other things too. I'll post more about that and the festival later but until then, enjoy this lovely picture of some half-nekkid, very dirty feet!

If you need to know more about HNT click on the blue button to the right!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I'm back,
I'm exhausted,
I have more work to do than I could ever imagine,
I think I am getting the flu and my poor little throat is killing me,
I can't believe I'm saying this but...I think I may be a little sick of drinking

AND....

it's my birthday!

Friday, September 23, 2005

The Show Must Go On...

So, I was thinking that we may not be able to head to Austin for the Austin City Limits Festival this weekend because of Rita but it appears that the show hasn't been cancelled and the weather reports seem to be getting better for the Austin area. I hope they're right since we're heading there tonight. I really don't want to be stuck in a hurricane if you know what I mean.

Anyway, wish me luck! My flight leaves at 7pm and then it's party time! I'll miss all of my little bloggies. Hopefully I'll be back on Tuesday with lots and lots of fun pictures! Have a great weekend everyone!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Half - Nekkid Thursday!

Okay, I know this is lame compared to last week's post so apologies...

I'll make up for it next week I promise but for now here is a picture of me doing one of my favorite things in one of my favorite places. Cheers and happy HNT everyone!!

*Click on the pretty blue button to your right to learn more about Half-Nekkid Thursday and The Man, Osbasso!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The Cali Trip

So, here is my trip to California in a nut shell. Well, I'm gonna try and get it in a nut shell, maybe a coconut shell...

First and foremost I have to say that I will NEVER, EVER be happy flying again unless it is on JetBlue Airlines. Now that is a way to be spoiled! The seats are a tad bit bigger/more leg room, which doesn't really do anything for me cuz I'm small but the Sweet One was happy...and the individual Direct TV monitors are so so SO GREAT! I am leaving for Austin on Friday and I am just not quite sure how I'm gonna get through it, not to mention I am flying Southwest aka Ghetto Airlines! It was the only direct and affordable flight tho AND JetBlue doesn't fly to Texas at all dammit! Seriously though, this is the last I'll say - if you ever have the chance, fly JetBlue...I heart them!

So - flew into Oakland on Thursday morn and decided to head into San Fran and do a little running around before heading to Napa.

I won't bore you with all of the boring details. Instead I'll give you a picture montage...here we go, wwhhheeeee...

This was an Italian bakery that we stopped in. Everything was so yummy but I couldn't get my mind or my camera off of the penis shaped pastries... See them right there in the middle? I'm praying they weren't cream filled...




The entrance to the Niebaum-Coppola winery. It was nice but a little too commercial and Disney Land-like in terms of your standard vinyard. The grounds were beautiful, don't get me wrong but getting a tasting was a huge cluster fuck, but still yummy once we got it!




This is the Sterling Vinyard. One of my fave wines. They have a tram system that takes you up the mountain for a tasting. That was wonderful!


I figured a picture of some real live grapes on the vine would be nice... I even picked one and ate it! I'm such a rebel...

We stopped at this road side BBQ joint. Looked pretty authentic as they were cooking things on the pit out in the open. It was DEEELISH but let me tell you, when they say that their sauce is hot, they mean it!! YUM...


This was the highlight! Grabbed a bottle, okay, maybe two, of bubbly at Domain Chandon sat on the well manicured lawn with a cheese board and great company and got toasted in the warm sunshine with a great view. God I wish I was there now!





I love this pic! A big stud drinking some "sparkling wine"! ha ha

I LOVE IT...who doesn't like the bubbles?




This is the wall at a restaurant called the Martini House. I love this picture because it's just how I feel sometimes! Don't we all?

The restaurant was beautiful but it was so expensive and I honestly had a better dinner at a much cheaper, dirtier place in San Fran...more to come on that!


This was the seating area outside of our hotel's bar where I think we spotted a real-live hooker picking up some 'John's'! It was funny. And this spot was so great. What's better than drinking, laying back and people watching?


Driving the winding mountain roads in Napa.


Yeah, yeah...you tilt it, you swirl it, whatever. Give me some wine so I can DRINK IT! Did you know that some people actually dump their wine in the spit buckets? That is insane! They could just give it to us and we'll finish it for them. I mean, I'm not that serious into wine to not finish what's in my glass just because the "bouquet doesn't taste quite what it's vintage should be". Where I'm from they call that a PARTY FOUL!



Outside of Beringer Winery. It was so beautiful. Someone recommended we take a "tour" there. We did. It was okay, kind of cool to hear the history. Not a HUGE Beringer fan and if I'm going to Napa, I'm drinking something better than that for sure...

The caves at Beringer. I wish that was my basement! All of those 750 barrels are filled with red wine!



This was at the Stinking Rose in San Francisco. Now, I'm a fan of garlic, I think it's essential in cooking, adds flavor, the whole shabang but THIS was a little much. It is the restaurant's signature 'garlic in a hot tub'. The garlic cloves were soft as butter and you could spread it on your bread. Sometimes people, there is such a thing as too much garlic! It makes my stomach turn just looking at it...yuck!


A little skyline action in the Northbeach area of San Francisco.



This place claimed that they "probably have the best Bloody Mary's in SF". Well, I have to say, they were pretty damn tasty. They were spicy, had an olive, celery and a piece of pickled asparagus that was very tasty but the best bloody I have ever had was in New Orleans sadly, and the Sweet One makes a mean bloody too...so, their bloody very likely is "probably" the best one in SF!!



This is the House of Nanking. It is the best Chinese restaurant in the world. Yes, I am making that bold statement. If you've ever been you'll agree. If you haven't then you need to go. And yes, there are people actually standing in line to eat there. It's that good. The line moves fast and they get you in and out. If you're smart you tell the owner what type of dish you're in the mood for and let him hook you up with whatever he wants. It's the best way and you get the best dishes. I can't tell you what we ate but I do know it was a fish dish, a pork dish, a chicken dish and a beef dish! All scrumptious and all things I would have never thought to order on my own! If you are ever in China Town, SF, make it a point to get to House of Nanking. If there is a line, wait in it. It's worth it. The prices make it even more worth it! (4 adults, 4 main dinner dishes, 4 beers = $65! now that's what I call a bargain)



This bus advertisement made me feel diiirty!



This apparently is "where good friends and girls meet"...


This is the nightly fog rolling into San Fran.



This is a bar in North Beach that the Sweet One and I make a point to visit every time we're in San Fran.



This is the signature drink at Tosca. It's hot chocolate and they add Brandy to it - perfect for cool San Francisco evenings. The story behind the drink is that back in the prohibition days they would sell this drink disguised as straight hot chocolate but little did the feds know it was all jacked up with the good stuff! That story alone keeps me coming back and brings a tear to my eye. Isn't it pretty how they have them all lined up on the bar just waiting their turn to be ordered and inseminated with hooch?


This is a picture in a bar called North Star in SF. If you look at it one way it looks like the virgin Mary, if you look at it another way it looks like Jesus...or I was just really fucked up...I'm really still not sure.


And...the last thing I remember drinking on Sunday night (after a plethera of Guinniss, Martini's, beer, shots of chilled sambuca espresso's, vodka tonic's and mango/pineapple infused vodka -oh god I think I'm gonna puke) - Irish Car Bombs! OY! I know it's not the very last thing I drank because I saw pictures...and I remember, I think, guzzling something down as we were being told to leave the bar as they were closing! Getting up at 6am to head to the airport was rough! I should have just stayed up, I would have probably felt a lot better...

So - as you can see by my long ass post that you probably stopped reading/looking at a loooong time ago, we did a lot of drinking and eating on this trip. Exactly what a vacation should be.

2 days to Austin City Limits where I can do it all over again!

YEEE HAAW!


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Sorry to gloat but....

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!!!


I don't like to be "that person" and throw a tough loss into an opponent's face but in this situation it is much deserved and a long time coming. The rivalry is back on baby...finally and it feels good! I think the Redskins fans have all the right in the world to ride this high for a little while so I am getting my gloat on!! WOO HOO! It's gonna be a good week.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Vino for HNT!


I know I'm early but I am leaving for Napa at 4am so I won't be posting tomorrow my little darlings...

SO - in honor of my trip to wine country I give you...Wine over boobie! ENJOY! And have a wonderful Half-Nekkid Thursday.




And if you need to know more about Half Nekkid Thursday please click on the fun little blue button over there on the right!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

PAINTING




This is one of the last big purchases that I made in New Orleans. Granted I bought it years ago but it still makes me smile every time I walk into my living room and see that little piece of such a great city! I can't wait until it's back up and running so I can visit again.

My good friend who lives in New Orleans and has been in Alabama since the Hurricane and floods is coming back to the D.C. area this weekend. I guess if she can't go back to New Orleans she might at well come here where her family and friends can get her significantly shit faced on a regular basis. She will also be coming to Austin with us next week for the ACL. I can't wait. She is a crazy chick too and we are gonna get nuts!!

Wow! It's Monday and this week is already crazy! I have a ton of work to get done before the Sweet one, my friend J and her hubby S and I head to Napa and San Francisco on Thursday A.M. I can not WAIT to just be there, wine in hand and work off my mind! I don't love to fly but found a sweet direct flight on JetBlue airways out to the west coast. I have never flown JetBlue but I am pretty excited about it. This is the airline that has direct tv for each passenger!! This means that I will have my OWN REMOTE! Something very hard to come by when with the Sweet One! Plus, just having the freedom, and comfort of watching whatever the hell you want while surrounded by 150 other morons is a great feeling...knowing me, my unit won't be working and I'll have to share with the 300lb grandma that is SURE to be crowding up the seat next to me and part of mine...ahhh, I love flying! Bring on the Xanax and mini's...

So, a quick recap from the weekend...Saturday was one of my bestest friend's baby shower. Now, I hope I don't offend anyone, but I think showers are lame, stupid, boring, blah, blah, blah! I guess they are a "necessary" evil, but I just feel like there is such a better way to have a party to celebrate pending nuptials or babies and get gifts and have fun. One way is to include men and not play those silly games that people play at showers...YUCK! Thankfully that is where my friends and I put our foot down - no goofy shower games, unless they involve tequila and quarters...So I spent Friday night cooking and preparing for the party - oh what fun! Spent the majority of Saturday at the shower, which I will not bore you with details about! Came home with a severe headache, decided to take a nap before going out and cleansing myself of the cheeseball party by drinking my face off...Unfortunately I could barely wake up and then when I did the headache was still there SO I stayed in and watched The Motorcycle Diaries...if you haven't seeing it I HIGHLY recommend it! I really, really liked it and can't say enough good things about it. So, not only did the shower ruin a beautiful day, it ruined my Saturday night too, BUT I probably needed it. A night all about me. Rest and relaxation, or detoxation.

So, I woke up well rested on Sunday morning in time to get over to our tailgate party for one of the ugliest football games I've been to in a while. BUT we won, and a win is a win I presume...I did end up drinking way more than I had planned so I sufficiently made up for my lame Saturday. The Sweet One and I watched Sideways last night. I can't remember who told me this was a good movie but when I remember I will choke them. If you haven't seen it don't waste your time! I am still trying to figure out how on earth I could get that 2.5 hours of my life back. That has got to be one of the worst movies I have seen in my life and just reconfirms my theory that the members of the Academy are a bunch of crack heads. I could go on but I've wasted too much time on the subject as it is.

Today was a freakin whirlwind of activity. I woke up and met trainy trainertons at 7am - a little later than usual and it felt good! She got a taste of my asthma today, I think my strained breathing kind of scared her a little and I was kind of glad because she took it easy on me for a few minutes...but then it was back to the ass kicking! Got to work super early, wrote a whole week's worth of scripts and got a shit load of work done! Now, it's time to get my ass in bed so that my mind can start racing about all the things that I need to get done before my trip on Thursday. Yipeee!

Friday, September 09, 2005

AAAhhhh! My boobs are shrinking!!!

Okay, so I have always been known to have some massive mamories...Never been particularly fat but could at some points have stood to lose a few pounds but the boobs never really changed that drastically one way or the other. I appreciate the melons. I like the melons. They get attention when I do and don't want it. But mostly they help me out of sticky situations...he he he...Like CAR issues you sick bastards!

Anyway, as some of you may remember I have been working out with a trainer for a few months now. Okay, I have been working my arse off! And apparently when you work your arse off along with it comes your BOOBS! Good heavens NO!

Okay, now I have had friends through the years that have threatened to get breast implants, have always wanted more more more, have chanted silly sayings as they do push up's like "we must, we must, we must increase our bust", but I have always dissuaded them from such nonsense. I mean, if you go from nothing to your cup runeth over it would be quite an unpleasant surprise. Those little shirts you wear don't fit so comfortably anymore, nor can you wear them to say...church! Unless you want to look like Pamela Anderson at the Academy Awards last year. Can you say TRASHY?

So my point, and I do have one, is that my poor boobies appear to be leaving me. They have been with me since the 10th grade when I woke up one day and for some reason got lots and lots of attention from the boys...well, that's not true, from EVERYONE! Hmmm, maybe that's why I got such a good grade in Algebra but couldn't do a lick of it outside of the classroom...? Anyway, I guess a small waist and better health is a good trade off (I bought my first pair of smaller pants the other day! Yipee). But I am truly scared. I have never lived life on the other side. Without the twins. With a smaller bra...What ever will I do? I think I'm seriously getting a little sad about this. Maybe I'm just being crazy, change is good right?

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Is it Thursday Already?



Okay, so since I totally spaced on HNT, I decided to show everyone what I do at work everyday! ha ha...I WISH!

Anyway, apologies to those of you who despise the pigs. It's all I could come up with on such short notice. I don't think that anyone would have honestly appreciated me taking cleavage pictures in my cube! Especially the chick that sits next to me. I also love how my legs look MASSIVE until you get to my tiny little feet. I hope they don't look that way in real life!

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday Everyone!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Bitch session...

Okay, this is gonna be short and sweet, well, maybe not so sweet...

WHY, on god's green earth do some women walk into a bathroom with 7 stalls and decide to utilize the one RIGHT NEXT DOOR to another "in use" stall? Don't you want your privacy? Don't you want to not be all up in someone else's bathroom space? UUUGGGH! BATHROOM ETIQUETTE LADIES! LEARN IT, LOVE IT, LIVE IT!!!

This bugs the SHITE out of me and maybe that's why it is always little old me who ends up with Shitty McGee who decides to plop her ass right in the stall next to mine. You know, that one that is all the way at the end and proceeded by 6 empty stalls!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

It's Dorky Tuesday!

Okay, so I was going to conveniently forget about Dorky Tuesday but everyone is doing it and in order to be a "cool kid" I thought I'd better get in on it. So, ladies and gents...my dorky picture:
I figure this to be some time in the early 80's. You know, the famous Olan Mills portrait. I'm diggin on the fall path that I just decided to stop along for my oh so natural pose. You know, the leaning on the tree stump, or maybe it's the fence post...? Now lets move onto my dress. Ahhh, classic 80's! The cut, the colors, the hearts and stripes. It doesn't get much better than this ladies. And lastly, the Crystal Gayle-esque long straight hair. In, my classic pig tail style. I think my mom did my hair in pig tails from the minute I grew enough hair. It's been my signature look all my life!
So there you have it. Hope I've provided you some entertainment and next week, maybe a homecoming dance picture!!! AAAHHH!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Seven - It's like a disease...

Okay, so Blazngfyre smacked me on the ass. Here are my 7's.....



Seven:things that are in my fridge right now...

  1. Seafood club wrap from my favorite beach pub (so freakin' yummy! not all mayo and filler - all lump crab and shrimp)
  2. Teeth Whitening Bleach (the good stuff! My friend is a dental hygentist)
  3. Egg Whites
  4. Beer
  5. a piece of cheese cake that is TAUNTING me but I must throw it out so I don't eat it ;O(
  6. Turkey bacon
  7. swiss cheese

Television programs that are on my 'Now Playing List' on my TiVo...I don't have TiVo but if I did (and one day I will) these would be on my play list:

  1. Lost
  2. Survivor
  3. The Amazing Race
  4. Washington Redskins Football games
  5. Paula's Home Cooking (I DO LOVE to cook, and I LOVE Paula!)
  6. The DailyShow
  7. Ellen


Things I have never done, and promise to never do...

  1. Scuba Diving. I've seen "Open Water"! Plus I panic when I can't breath
  2. traveled to the Middle East
  3. Gone to a Nascar race, I'm allergic to red necks
  4. Anal - 'nuff said
  5. Gone to a Philadelphia Eagles game at their stadium - they have a holding cell in the basement of the stadium, their fans are assholes and I value my life more that football...Sometimes
  6. Participated in the Running of the Bulls - seriously...I just don't get the mentality behind this event
  7. Participate or be on a reality television show. I embarrass my family enough without millions of viewers watching me from all around the country/world!


7 of the items in my big lingerie trunk... hmmm, this one is gonna be hard since I loathe underwear...

  1. The Egg - probably the best toy ever
  2. My newest boy short undies
  3. lots of ankle socks - I know, so not sexy...what can I say? I prefer doing it in nothing but my socks!
  4. My sexy little bikini's - one polka dotted and one black
  5. The Rockin Rabbit - The Sweet One and I used it once but it basically strangled his manhood so there it sits, in the "lingerie trunk"
  6. Various other toys that I hate to say don't get used that often...guess we'll have to do something about that, huh?
  7. that's all I got...

Things I should be doing right now, instead of wasting time on the computer...

  1. Working on a toy chest I am painting for my friend's baby shower
  2. Cleaning my house
  3. Working on a purse I'm making for my BF's mom
  4. Working out
  5. Sleeping
  6. Making healthy food for this week's lunches
  7. Paying my bills


Folk whom I hope will answer their very own Sevens of their choosing, I know, I know, you can all bitch slap me later, now shaadap and do it...

  1. Peachy
  2. Andi
  3. Princess Steph
  4. Wopanese
  5. Big Dipper
  6. Addict
  7. Heather



Margaritas for HNT!

Margaritas at Sun Set

So it's Thursday again already! Yipee. This week's post is a picture of the Sweet One, me and a friend doing one of the things I love best. Drinking margaritas at sunset at the beach. There aren't too many things as good as that. I think the drinks tasted even better because we were supposed to be at work! Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday everyone! And here's to margaritas!!

If you want to get in on the game click on Osbasso!