Rude and RUDE!

Okay, so it's that time of year. You know, when all of the corporate gifts come barreling in. The tins of popcorn, the towers of cookies, summer sausage and cheese, the bottles of booze, the occasional umbrella or other obscure object with another company's logo on it, whatever.

So, yesterday, I get a very large box delivered to me. I quizzically asked the mail dude, "for me?" And he said, "Yup! For you!" How exciting!! Who would send me something? Well, the answer is, NO ONE! I opened the box and inside were 4 gift wrapped boxes with cards on them. As I pulled one after the other out of the box I realized that none of them had my name on it! I had to take the delivery walk of shame and hand out these damn boxes to my other co-workers. How fucking rude is that? Some cheap bastard, instead of sending these packages directly to who they were for, put them all in one box and addressed it to ME so that I could hand deliver each one to the proper recipient! I was pissed.

Well, later in the day my boss called me down to his office to give me a little holiday cheer. You all are so gross...I didn't mean it that way. Anyway, he gave me a bottle of Vodka and a Starbucks gift card. God I love my boss! So, I told him about the gifts that arrived and he thought it was pretty shitty then wondered why he didn't get anything from this company. I just shrugged. Who cares. At least I wasn't the only one!

Well, a few hours pass and wouldn't you know it...another big box arrives. Okay, maybe this time they will redeem themselves and there will be something in there for me! Well guess what? There's not! Another box filled with gifts for other people. Now I'm double pissed. I am almost tempted to send an email to the people that sent it telling them how absolutely rude and obnoxious this is! I mean. Am I wrong here? Do you all think this is a little messed up too? I would never do something so degrading to another human being! UUGGHH, fucking holidays....

Well...I finally did it! I defeated the Social Security office and I changed my name!

I decided last night that I would just get up early this morning and head to the SS office and deal with it. Even if it meant another 2 hour wait. I figured since it was the holidays and people are shopping and doing their own thing this might be my chance. AND, it was. I was in and out in less than 45 minutes. I even got to read some of my book and got to work before anyone noticed I was late! So, it's official, there's no turning back. Now I get to change my name at work, on my credit cards, my bank account, my license, my passport and every other freakin document and item that I own. Not looking forward to all of that!

We finally got all of our Christmas shopping done thanks to Mr. Funky having a few days off work. He got all the last minute things done and I wrapped them all and now we have nothing left to buy and $0 to our names. YAYYY! Christmas spirit!

The hubby and I have the pleasure and the pain of having almost all of our family close by. I searched and prayed for an orphan but it didn't work out. Oh well...So, we'll be spending from Saturday night until Monday night driving all over the Washington D.C. - Maryland - Virginia area. I am dreading it as usual. For some reason Hubby's fam decided they were going to have a party on Saturday night to celebrate the family's December birthdays. WHAT THE FUCK? It's almost comical really, I mean, no one has anything else to do in these next few days, let's throw in a lame ass birthday party for the people that have december birthdays. What about Jesus? His birthday is in December and that I plan to celebrate that one. I mean, if the birthday's were that important and not a complete afterthought wouldn't they have planned to celebrate them hmmm...maybe before the day before Christmas Eve? Okay, I'm rambling and bitching now...

If I don't have anything interesting to post before hand, and chances are I won't, I hope that each and every one of you and your families have a blessed and wonderful Christmas spent doing what you love with the people you love. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Blah, blah, blah. I have nothing to say. Been busy and stressed out about Christmas. I have no money, no time, and no idea what to get anyone. OVER IT! I was not prepared this year at all. Last year I did so well, I bought things throughout the year and when Christmas came I was ready. This year...not so much. I'm in a bad mood. I'm tired of eating and being fat yet I can't stop and I have yet to make it to the gym. I have no time for anything. Merry Fucking Christmas!

SO - since I suck and have nothing nice to say, here are some cheerful pictures by request of my lovely husband. Below is our fabulous tree, which by the way is one of the only things making me happy. It smells glorious and I love coming home and just laying by the lights of the tree and the fire place.

AND the second pic is the outside of our house. The hubster really hooked it up and it really looks so festive and beautiful and our icicles "twinkle". Plus, any burglar would be a fool to attempt a robbery with the brightness of this humble abode! You almost have to wear your sunglasses coming into the house. I can't wait until someone decides to rearrange our reindeer in an obscene pose! yayyy....

I went home early from work on Monday. I really thought my head might explode and my back felt as though my kidneys might fail. Nice huh? The gyno was a fun as you can imagine. I had a splitting headache and while quite obviously reading a magazine a woman sat down next to me and proceeded to have a conversation with me!

First she sighs..."man, I sure hope I'm not pregnant"

I look over and give her my best "okey dokey" nod and grin then go back to reading my magazine.

Then she says, "I have a son in college and one in tenth grade, this could be horrible"

So I look over and say, "yeah, crazy..."

Then she proceeds to tell me that she's not even married anymore and that her boyfriend has "been snipped" and that he will jump off a cliff (his words) if she's pregnant. She tells me how she's having back pains and she's really tired and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I said, well, maybe you're getting sick? I have a cold, maybe that's all it is. She continues to tell me how her doctor in this particular practice is "hot" and "very attractive". Now, don't get me wrong, if you want to see a male gyno that's your perogative. I personally like to go to a mechanic that owns a car but whatevs. If I DID decide to go to a male doc the last thing in the world I want him to be is HOT!!! It's bad enough having a woman fondle all my bits and pieces. No need for Antonio Sabato Junior telling me that we're looking good down there! Ugghh. My name could not have been called soon enough. Peeing in a cup seemed fun to me at that point. Even the exam was a welcome escape from talkie talkertons. Where do these people come from?

Anyway, I spent all of Tuesday in and out of a coma like slumber. My amazing mother came over and brought me home made chicken soup. On Wednesday I decided it was a good idea to get into work although I don't think I was ready. I still had a mild headache, you know the kind that just lingers beyond the surface. It was almost worse than the severe headache I experienced the three previous days. AND my back killed SO BAD. I had to literally kneel on my knees at my desk for the majority of the day because it hurt too bad to sit.

I prayed and prayed all day and last night and apparently god likes me because I don't feel so bad today. I can sit at my desk without being completely uncomfortable and wanting to cry. My Department is having it's kick ass holiday/end of year party today. We are being taken by bus to a secret location around 1:30pm and not coming back until later this evening. I foresee a lot of drunken debauchery which is always great when you're hanging with work folk! Let's hope it doesn't get too ugly.

Anyway, hope all is well in your world!

I have had the worst headache for the last 3 days. Nothing is helping and it won't go away. It's putting me in such a bad mood, I feel like I'm gonna cry. I get sinus infections pretty regularly so there's a chance that it's trying to turn into that because even my teeth hurt and that's what happens when I get sinus infections but my ears hurt, my eyes hurt, my hair follicles hurt. I am miserable!

To top it off, it's Monday, it's freezing outside (Friday's 74 degree temperatures are a distant memory at this point), it's about 40 degrees and windy! AND...drum roll please...I have a gyno appointment this afternoon - HOORAY! I can't wait for that. Man oh manischewitz I can't wait!

It was a nice, pretty low key weekend. Mr. Funky and I got all domestic and put Christmas lights and decorations up in the yard on Saturday. The house looks really good, if I do say so myself! I got the twinkling icicle lights and they are so pretty. It only took Hubby 3+ hours to put up a string of lights, although I admit that does include me having to go back to the store to get more lights. I also put up different size and shaped Christmas balls all over our front tree. We've gotten lots of compliments from the neighbors on it so it must look nice, that is until the wind picks up and one of them goes projectile into one of their windows! HA...hope it's not the meanies that live next door to us!!

Anyway, I'm going to go put my head down on my desk and possibly sob from the pain, not sure yet. Hope everyone is having a better day than I am...

It's December 1st and it's 74 degrees outside. On the east coast of the United States...and our president says there's no global warming...HA!

I am honestly not complaining about the weather because hey, let's face it, I would prefer for it to be 74 degrees in December rather than the 17 degrees that it should be. I do however find it quite eery and don't want to be around for the real downfall, like when it starts snowing in August!

We had a sale at my office yesterday and I sold a lot of bags and mirrors. I actually did a lot better than I thought I would so I'm happy for that and now I can buy some Christmas gifts! I have FINALLY had a chance to upload some new pictures onto my website of my newest bags so if you want to check it out and buy some holiday gifts for your loved ones or for yourself please do!

That's about it for me. I'm so glad it's the weekend. I think the plan is to do pretty much nothing tonight and then tomorrow we are going out with some friends that are in town from New York City. I am hoping to talk the hubbster into getting our Christmas tree on Sunday but we'll see. Have a great weekend everyone!