My body is rebelling against me...

I am fucked. Seriously. I am a miserable mess...

I'm currently in the process of getting one of my many annual sinus infections. My brain feels like it's gonna explode out of my eyeballs but not before oozing out of my upper jaw line/cheek bones. I have what my doctor calls Sinusitis...yeah, yeah, point and laugh and tell me there's no such thing. I thought he was kind of full of shit a couple of years ago when he told me this too but then I found out that another one of my friends actually has it AND he just had to have surgery for it. I don't think my case is as severe but once I looked up the symptoms and some of the other information on this little disease of mine I realized that the good doc was spot on! After all that wasted typing, my point is that I feel like ass and I'm pretty sure it's due to the massive alcohol consumption and smoke inhalation from the weekend.

I stayed at work until about 8:45pm last night so I could get the last of our stupid save the date's assembled and sent out. They're actually not stupid at all. They are fucking adorable and I dare you to disagree...My wonderful, delicious, special little mommy and I made them ourselves and put them all together. It was a hell of a lot of good old quality mommy and me time and I loved every minute of it.

It says: "TheFunkyBee and The Sweet One are Tying the Knot! Please reserve the date of, blah biddy blah, blah, blah..."

I have had absolutely no appetite today. If you knew me, you'd know this was ludicrous. I am by no means obscenely overweight - I could stand to lose 10lb's or so but who couldn't? I like food and I don't miss many meals. Ever hear the song lyrics "red beans and rice didn't miss her"? Well, they were talking about me. I got some junk in the trunk. A ghetto booty if you will (for a white girl anyway)...I've never had any complaints. So, when I'm not hungry ALL DAY LONG, I know something is wrong with me.

I'm pretty sure I've had a fever most of the day as I am usually cold as ice at work and I spent most of the day sweating. It was also one of the coldest days we've had all winter here today and it was snowing on my way home from the office. Yeah...I'm fucked.

If you thought all of that was bad, (MEN: STOP READING HERE - I'M WARNING YOU!)
I think I'm getting a fucking yeast infection. Yeah, that's right, I said it. Yes, it's horrific. Yes, you can make all the baking bread, yeasty jokes you want. And YES, being a woman is a fucking pain in the ass sometimes - sometimes it's even a huge pain in the vagina! This one makes me the angriest. It's hard enough to be a woman and to go through all the womanly shit that we go through but this on top of it all? FUCK it makes me so mad. So mad I could murder someone, preferably a man. Just because! Any woman that's ever experienced one of these "infections" will agree that there isn't much that tops it in the miserable category.

So, if I sound bitter, now you know why! I hope everyone else is having a wonderful fucking day. At least someone is...

busy, busy, hangover, busy...

it was a busy weekend.

Friday night we went to the 9:30 Club to see The Dan Band. I meant to eat lunch and then dinner that day but the only thing I actually got to stuff down was a strawberry cupcake from a birthday celebration at work and it was damned good...This little tid bit will make sense later.

We went with a little crew of people and it was a blast. It just so happened that my boss, his boss and the president of our company ended up being at the club to see the band too. Apparently they want to hire TDB for something so wanted to come check them out. My boss is cool. He is maybe 38 years old, might not even be that old. We call him the Frat Boy. His boss is cool. He might be 40...? The president of the company is the whitest, most southern, republican, white sock and loafer wearing dude you'll ever meet and therefore seemed quite out of place! I did end up seeing my boss at some point during the show and went down to where they were standing with shots in hand! he he...nothing better than doing shots with your bosses. And could they say no? Not a chance. No boss wants to be "that guy", you know, the dorky, "I gotta get home to my wife and kids - can't do the shot" guy...? It was amusing to say the least.

Well, after the show - which ended VERY early to our disappointment, we headed to one of our favorite local Irish Pubs. My bosses boss joined us for a couple...it was kind of weird, kind of cool all at the same time. It's a good thing he left before the debauchery started. That would have been quite embarrassing.

The drinks were flowing very freely and then the camera came out. My friend Steve's camera that is...I don't know what happens to me when I have been drinking heavily and a camera comes out. The first place it just magically ends up is down my shirt. And that's where it started getting ugly, and a little hazy to be honest with you. I can assure you that Steve left with a whole catalogue of pictures of mine and another friend's breasts or as the Sweet One likes to call it, a whole new load of spanking material (eww, that kind of makes me gag, but whatever).

I think my eyes finally opened the next morning at about 10:30am and the thought of trying to lift my head from the pillow almost made me cry. I tried to sleep it off a little but remembered that we had a date with the future in-laws to show them our reception site and they planned to take us to lunch at Sequoia, where they want to have our rehearsal dinner. Generally the idea of eating there would make me jump for joy - especially because we weren't being asked to pay for our meal. Today I wanted to well...cry. Why do we do these things to ourselves? Why didn't I eat something yesterday? Why didn't I pace myself? Why, why why? After laying around for a while I finally got myself into the shower where I wanted to puke and cry. I felt a little better as long as I didn't make any sudden movements or bend over. The Sweet One made the trek to Starbucks and was therefore, once again, my hero and my savior!

We did all of the obligatory touring around the city. The in-laws loved our future reception site, lunch was good, until we started talking about the invite list for the rehearsal dinner... TSO's parents want to invite virtually everyone in their whole family to the rehearsal dinner and well, I don't. I mean, it's for the wedding party, the parents and some of the out of town guests right? Perhaps, but there isn't much arguing you can do when someone else is paying...let's hope we can change this a little.

Saturday night we headed to Annapolis for yet another free meal supplied by another set of parents! If you don't live in the Maryland/DC/Virginia area and you think you know what a crab cake is, good luck! You've never had a REAL crab cake my dears but if you're ever in the area and you want to know what it's all about then head to Dock Street Bar in Annapolis and you can taste what is virtually one of the best crab cakes I've ever had in my life. I dream about these crab cakes. I aspire to make a cake half as good as these. Well, that's a little extreme, I can make cakes half as good as these but they are by far one of the best!
(*disclaimer - if you live in the area and know of another wonderful crab cake place - like the fabulous crab cake factory in Lexington Market in Baltimore, MD, or another great spot then great, I'm not trying to compete. The best crab cakes are everywhere around here! If you don't live around here then no, you don't know what a real crab cake is. It's not your fault, you just don't.)

Sunday TSO and I got up and went to the gym. We had a great work out. And since we did so well and felt great and all the bull shit we decided to come home where we proceeded to eat and pop open a bottle of prosecco and have mimosas. You know, cuz the never ending hang over had just started to disappear so why not jump back on the wagon?

It was a fabulous weekend and I have basically just told you every fucking, boring detail that you could probably care less about! I hope you all had a great weekend too! Only 5 more days and we can do it all over again!

shoes...

I bought these shoes yesterday because well...if you're gonna be broke and have creditors on your ass you might as well have cute shoes on when they come to take you to prison right?

Okay seriously. I can't decide if I like them or not. They are adorable but I've never been big on the little round toe. For me it's either pointy or square. I'm not much of a tweener. BUT they are so cute. I am so indecisive about these damn shoes!

I almost wore them to work today but I was afraid I would decide half way through the day that I hated them and then I wouldn't be able to return them because the sole would be all scuffed.

What do you think? Cute or not? They are actually comfortable, well, at least they were walking around the house for 30 minutes.

I'm still tired. Exhausted actually...I spent the long weekend that seems like such a distant memory at this point, drinking heavily with friends thus making myself even more exhausted for this week. And I've been working on my other new full time job...planning the wedding.

I'm not stressed about it, don't get me wrong. I'm actually really enjoying it all and that's just not my style in general. It's been really fun planning our wedding thus far and I know I'm going to completely jinx myself by saying this but it's all happening so fast and going so well that I'm just worried that it'll be over before I know it! Now, the part I'm stressed and sad about is the fact that umm, I have a real full time job that is TOTALLY getting in the way of my life. It's so annoying.

Had a ton of fun this weekend. I was all ready to post some fun pic's from all of the festivities but I've just been blah. Haven't had time for the computer or much to say really. Now I'm just praying that something, maybe my waist line, will motivate me to get my ass to the gym tonight. Ugggh, I'm so not in the mood. Would someone just bring me a pizza!!

I hope to get back on the ball and read everyone tonight. I've missed you all...

I am so glad it's Friday! I don't know what happened this week but it just didn't seem like a good one from any perspective. I'm thinking a lot of people are feeling the same way as there are about 5 of us here in my department out of the regular 15 or so. The Sweet One had such a shitty week at work that he took off today to sleep it off! I have been so unbelievably exhausted for no reason in particular. I went to the gym once this week! I do plan to go today when I get off work but that isn't making me feel too much better. I don't know if it's this time of year or what but I have been completely lazy these last two weeks and all I want to do is eat and sit my ass on the couch...It's not like it's been bitterly cold and we don't want to go outside. Yesterday was almost 70 degrees here (who said global warming was a bad thing?) and today is in the 60's. Do our bodies just know when it's "winter" no matter what the temperature is? Is it a hibernating/food storing mechanism that our bodies just put in place naturally? Whatever it is I'm over it. I hate feeling lazy, drained and as if I have a food baby making it's way into it's third trimester.

We went to meet with our photographer last night. He's a friend of the fam, lives in a very cool part of D.C. and has a great place. He has more cd's than I've ever seen in one place in my life. So, what started out as going to take a look at some of his photo albums and some of his other works turned into drinking very potent martini's and taking turns playing songs from his extensive collection. I can tell the wedding is gonna be fun! With "vendors" like that how could it not be?

I think tonight will be a make dinner at home, low key one. TSO and I are lucky enough to be off on Monday for Prez Day so we plan to relax and hopefully get some energy back before next Tuesday. It's got to be a better week than this one was...

Tomorrow a bunch of my girlfriends have organized a bar crawl in DC starting at 3pm. I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it that early but perhaps I'll join them later when they are sufficiently sauced. On Sunday we plan to head to one of our favorite places, Chi Cha Lounge, for a friend's Birthday. I'm looking very forward to it.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

I love monkeys!

Why are monkey's so freakin cute and so hilarious?

Money...

Some say it's the root of all evil. I have to agree.

BEWARE - RANT POST AHEAD... DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE COMPLETELY BORED!

This is just one of those things that I need to get out of my system. I just need to write this down and I don't care if anyone reads this at all...This is therapeutic for ME!

Lately The Sweet One has been majorly stressed about what else...? Money! It frustrates me beyond belief and sucks so badly that people's physical health is often altered due to stress that comes from worrying about money.

Now, don't get me wrong. We're not struggling in any way. We're not down and out. We're not fighting off bill collectors and repossesors BUT, as many of us do these days, we live pretty much pay check to pay check. We get our pay check, we pay our bills and then, there aint much left after that. To me, it's just become a way of life. I know what I have to do. I know how much I'll be left with and if that means that I don't get to go out drinking as often or shopping at all this month then hey, that's just what I have to do. It sucks some times but it's not the end of the world.

Unfortunately for TSO and I we didn't go into professions that pay the big bucks. Again, we're not making chump change but in comparison to many of our close friends our income just doesn't compare. Most of our friends are in sales or careers that afford them a lot of the "finer things". Some times this means trips. Maybe it's a new luxury car or an extra "investment" home, maybe it's a wife that's decided to stay home with the kids because they just can. To me, these things don't mean much. I feel like our happiness is much more important than ANY of those things and hell, I spend a lot of time at work. I at least want to enjoy it if I'm not making a ton of money. Why go to a place that I hate and do something that I hate day in and day out just to bring home a fat paycheck but my life sucks?

I've always imagined that I would have to work or really, wanted to work, when I had kids. That's how I grew up and I'm not totally fucked up. I don't see anything wrong with working while you raise your kids. And you know what? If I do want to stay home, we'll find a way to work it out and we'll do it. Maybe TSO will stay home with our kids. I don't care! Although this would probably effect a lot of men's pride, I don't see anything wrong with that scenario...

I just wish there was a way to reassure The Sweet One that money isn't everything and that no matter what, we'll be fine. We're fine now. We take trips that we want. We have the clothes that we want. We live in houses that we own. We go out to dinner and meet friends out for drinks and always have a good time. Do we need to save some money and learn how to be a little more frugal? Probably. Is it going to be the end of the world if we can't BUY some of the things that we want or go on that "extra" trip that other people are taking? No, it's not. It's all gonna work out just fine. It always does!

We have great families. We're loved by a lot of great friends and family. We are nice people and we treat others with respect. To me, we're rich!

As the Beatles once said "...I don't care too much for money...Money Can't Buy Me Love..."

gay? perhaps...
me? completely...

Valentine's Day...

The day that Hallmark invented for women (and children)...

Now, don't get me wrong. A day all about me and love and all that fru fru stuff is okay now and then but I want it spontaneously, not because someone told me that this is the day that is HAS to happen. I mean, it's such a weird day. I say it's geared towards women because have you ever tried to buy a man a Valentine's Day gift? I don't know about you but I don't know too many men that want a teddy bear, flowers or chocolate in a heart shaped box. A bracelet from Tiffany doesn't really turn many guys on either.

The Sweet One and I have been together for just about 8 years and in that time we have never really "celebrated" the V day. I wouldn't say we flat out boycott it. We usually go to his mom's house. She's all domestic and since they were children has always made a heart shaped meat loaf and pink mashed potatoes for dinner. It's cute. It's about family, not spending a fortune to show up your friends and get your love something ridiculous to prove that YOU are the better man...

This year, for the first time ever, TSO and I are going out to dinner for Valentine's Day. I would love to say it's because we want to celebrate our love for one another and getting reservations at an over crowded restaurant is the way to do it but alas, it's not. We are foodies. We love to eat good food and it just so happened that a restaurant that we LOVE is having a special Valentine's dinner and we just had to check it out. We've only been there once and are very excited to go back. So it's our first Valentine's Day celebration together, alone. We'll see if the tradition continues on for years. Chances are, it won't! I hope that everyone has a great V day. I hope it's not too annoying, and if it makes you all feel better you can heckle me if you want because I wore a pink shirt to work today! HA HA...

snow

Well, we had our blizzard of 2006 this weekend. And apparently it is considered a blizzard when it snows upwards of 18"...We got a LOT of snow but oddly enough we were prepared for it. The road crews were out and about. They dropped sand and salt and they plowed things up pretty quickly. I live on a small side street in a quiet neighborhood that usually doesn't get dug out until the snow has melted for a few days but a local landscaper took it upon himself to plow our streets for us. So, by Sunday afternoon the streets were looking pretty good and you could see pavement. And the sunshine beating down didn't hurt either.

The Sweet One and I took full advantage of the weather. We hunkered down with our booze and the hot tub. It was so cool to be out in the hot tub as the snow fell all around us Saturday night. We tried to take some pic's but the steam was a little too heavy and kept making it look like we took a picture of exhaust so...here's all we could capture.

I hope everyone had a great weekend too and if you got the storm, enjoyed it...Next time, let's go for a snow storm on let's say a Wednesday!

MMMMMMartini

Last night when the Sweet One came over we decided we'd have martini's before dinner. What a great idea! We agreed that when we get married and live together we will have a martini every night when we get home from work. I think it will make for a most pleasant marriage, don't you?

We had a fabulous dinner - Boursin stuffed chicken breasts and asparagus. A girlfriend of mine gave me the chicken recipe and it was so freakin easy and so damn good! It looked so gourmet on the plate.

We watched Survivor then we had fabulous...well, ummm, I'm sore today if that tells you anything! It was a great night.

We're going to check out our potential photographer tonight. He lives in the Dupont Circle area of DC then we'll probably go out to one of the many bars in that area and get our weekend started right...

Tomorrow Maryland plays Duke. I fucking hate Duke. We will probably lose but you know what? I still fucking hate Duke. I hate Coach K, I hate their school, their players, I hate the bus they will be coming in on okay? TSO and I will be at the game cheering along with all of the other fools. It's also supposed to snow here tomorrow. I hope it waits until Sunday evening/Monday morning. Who the hell needs snow on the weekend? That's just plain dumb...

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Legs...

Got home from work today. Turned the fire on. Took these lovely shoes off and drank a whole bottle of my favorite champagne All. By. Myself! And I loved every bubbly moment of it...

Well, I guess we have to call it "Sparking Wine" because it's made in napa valley. It's not expensive or all fancy pants but I love it. Party because I've had it numerous times on a warm, grassy hill at the vineyard where it's made, which brings back a flood of wonderful memories, and partly because, well...I just love it. That's it.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

I'm not pregnant...(curses to all of you that suggested it)

I got up and went to the gym at 6:45 this morning. I wasn't too tired. I think I just needed to get over the hump from the weekend.

The Sweet One and I have some lame Bridal Showcase to go to tonight at a local hotel and I am over it. I'm thinking it's gonna get blown off. I know they just want to sell us whatever - DJ's, videographers, photographers...At this point I think we have our photographer, we're still debating whether we want a videographer, and I was hoping to get recommendations for DJ's from friends as opposed to picking a company then the day of my wedding we end up with an 80 year old man that thinks he knows what we want to hear during our reception OR god forbid starts playing things like the macarena and the electric slide b/c he thinks those songs are still hip with the youngsters! The music at our wedding is VERY important to us. I plan to have a well layed out list of things that the DJ can and can not play and I want almost no talking out of him/her. I want them to be as invisible as possible.

Okay now I must go pretend to do work as I really do some wedding planning. Good day to you ...

Still tired...

So, I don't know what my problem is but I am freakin exhausted. I went out this weekend, in fairly normal fashion. I mean, it hasn't been years since I stayed up until 4am partying or anything like that so why? Why can I not wake up in the morning (I had to MAKE myself get up at 8:30 this morning!) ? Why am I feeling like I've been run over by a truck? And why do I feel as though my brain won't function?

I won't go into details about the weekend because really, it's not that interesting. A couple of night's out with friends. The three day hangover really seems almost unnecessary. But, if anyone has any good advice as to how to get my mojo back I would appreciate it. I can't even fathom going to the gym. Just putting my shorts over my ass is seeming a little too high energy right now.

Now, to the wedding part of the post...

The Sweet One and I have figured out how to get more money for our wedding. Here's how it works and it's actually quite simple...involve your parents. Involve them in every minute, boring, pathetic detail and they will throw money at you. That's all they want people. They want to feel like they are being consulted and involved in every step. It makes them feel good, it makes them feel important and all gooshy inside and it makes them want to open up their wallets.

On another note, I found the dress I want my bridesmaids to wear. If you don't like it shut your mouths and keep it to your self. If you do like it then I like you! Here it is:

No my bridesmaids won't be wearing the bucket hat, Yes I will require them to stand with one leg kicked behind them during the entire ceremony!

I'm pretty sure that at some point your body gives you signs that you're getting too old to party as much as you once did...and I'm pretty sure that my body is giving me those signs. I am sofa king tired today I want to throw up. If I could just go home and take a nap that would solve all my problems, although, if I go home and go to sleep there's a good chance that I won't wake back up, making it impossible to come back to work which could result in me being fired and I need money for my drinking habit. Its a vicious cycle!

I hope I can function better tomorrow and I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

An Engagement Party...Whether we like it or not!

Right about now most of you, if not ALL of you are going to consider me a complete spoiled bitch. I know there are so many more important things going on in the world and now I am going to be shallow and annoying. I'm ready for the criticism, I actually welcome it, maybe it will bring me some clarity in this whole situation...

I'll try not to make this the longest post in history but here we go...

A little history -
The Sweet One has a wonderful, loving, caring family. I have been received well by them since the day I met them approximately 7 years ago. I love them as my family as well. They have all wanted us to marry since probably the first year we were together and this, I have to say, has made me feel very special and loved. For a family of mostly women that can be very harsh and judgmental, they have always accepted me and expressed to me that they would be the lucky one's to have me in their family. This is all well and good. On the other hand, the women in TSO's family can also be very intimidating (not to me b/c I'm a hard ass and find myself not easily intimidated), nosy, busy bodies, gossipy, and often feel as though they have to be involved in EVERYONE's business...They're not blatantly malicious, but sometimes it comes off that way.

2006 -
So, TSO's bro, it just so happens, is getting married this year as well. About two months before us as a matter of fact. It's a big year for their family and I think we're all pretty excited. Last Friday we got an email from one of the younger cousins informing us that Cousin #1 and Cousin #2 - two of the main women that I referenced above - were throwing us a joint engagement party with TSO's bro and his fiance. They didn't ASK if we wanted an engagement party...they TOLD us that they were throwing one. Which also makes me question their motives. Is this for them or for us? What if they invite a ton of their friends that we don't intend to invite to the actual wedding? Ummm, embarrassing!

I am against the whole engagement party thing and have been since the beginning of time (sorry if I'm offending any of you engagement party types). This makes me look like such a hypocrite because I curse people that have engagement parties and most people that know me well know this about me. My logic is that it's a lot to ask of people. There are so many other parties and celebrations surrounding our wedding that it's just unfair to ask people to join us for one more. For some this means travel, expenses, more gifts, time. I love a good party and I am all for one in my honor but I have a very large family on my side alone and we both have a lot of friends (we are having trouble cutting our wedding list down to 300 people and we're praying that only 250 or less show up). And combined with TSO's bro's guest list this could end up being the size of another wedding. I just don't think #1 and #2 know what they're getting themselves into. And to be quite honest the thought kind of stresses me out too...

Now, as much as I appreciate their generosity and their willingness to throw us an engagement party I never asked for one nor do I want one. And this my friends is where you can call me an ungrateful bitch. I don't want the headache of getting our guest list together, I don't want the headache of getting all of the addresses together, I don't want to have to tell them over and over again NO GIFTS, I don't want my friends and family saying, "another party for Bee and TSO?" I just feel the tension rise in me every time I even think about it. I know I'll have to get all of those things together (lists, addresses, etc) for invitations or what have you, but I will do that on my time. And honestly, maybe it's just a control thing. I find it very hard to give up the reigns and leave a party as big as this in the hands of other people. What if it's not how I would do it? What if it's not the way I want it? What if the time, place, whatever are not what I want? I just find it so hard to let it just be whatever they want it to be...I know this is probably the wrong approach but I just don't know how else to feel about this.

On the other hand, I feel like if I say I don't want it, which I CAN NOT do, I will be missing out on a great thing. Actually, I know I will be. It's just not an option. I mean, a party to celebrate our engagement? That is just so nice and we are so lucky that people love us so much that they want to celebrate something that we are so totally excited about. There will be food and drinks and great company, a LOT of great company. I won't have to lift a finger or worry about a thing. I won't have to arrange for the food or drinks or anything for that matter. We will just sit back, relax and have a great time.

Why can't I just let go and be happy about this? Is it because I know that I won't be able to stay out of the planning and such? Is it because I know I won't be able to sit back and relax while I'm waited on hand and foot? It's just not my way. I don't operate like that. I guess I have to find a way to release a little bit of control, be grateful for the loving family that we have and stop being such an ungrateful bitch because it appears we're having an engagement party, whether we like it or not...