Well, I have been down for the count. I think it's the flu, not sure. Maybe bird flu? Who knows...

My whole body aches. Mostly my back and all around my rib cage. My throat is killing me now, woo hoo! but miraculously my head doesn't hurt anymore. I'm still feeling a bit weak but who cares, it's Friday. I have barely worked the last two days - in for an hour or two both days, and I think I needed the rest, even though I got bored of resting by last night and went to watch my team play our double header softball game. I SO wanted to play. BUT, I knew that could not happen. I knew this thing just needed to run it's course when I took an 800mg Motrin and it didn't help. I am just so uncomfortable. Any way I sit, stand, lean, whatever, is not making me feel better. I even had a HNT post ready for this week but couldn't get to it.

Oh well, enough of the complaining...It should be a great weekend. We have some of our bestest friends coming in from New Orleans. It's stopped raining. I've stopped all production on my arc but am keeping it in case of a rain relapse. We have lots of fun summery, 4th of July weekend plans and life is good.

I hope everyone else is well and the weekend treats you all right!

The weather here is nothing short of ridiculous. I wish I could do the situation justice by explaining what's going on but even being here is surreal. It has been raining here, NO JOKE, for the last 6 days. SIX DAYS PEOPLE! And I don't mean the drizzles or dreary weather. It has been torrential downpouring on and off for almost a week straight.

The streets and rivers and lakes and anything else in the outside world, are so saturated that major thoroughfares have been closed for days in the DC area. My basement is a joke at this point. There is nothing I can do. I have to admit, I'm sure there are many people that have it a lot worse than I do but it still sucks. With the constant water down there I plan to throw away two carpets once they dry out and I can carry them outside.

Every time I think I see a glimmer of hope, a flicker of blue skies, a struggle of sunshine trying to break through the clouds, the skies open up, the thunder rolls and the downpours start all over again. I am seriously considering building an ark. This might be the end of the world!

This weekend was great. It felt long, in a good way, and I can't remember EVER feeling like a regular old weekend felt long.

Friday night The Sweet One and I made dinner at home and did a lot of nuttin.

Saturday was the dreaded shower and believe it or not...it was SO NICE! Even the white trash family was great and gained my weak ass sympathy. I thought as i left (full of mimosas and white wine) they're really not that bad, they'll probably have a great time at the wedding. I'm sure I'll live to regret my empathy for said white trash. My step mother and my cousin hooked it UP. The decorations were beautiful, the "games" weren't stupid and lame, the food and drinks were out of this world, and I got some GREAT gifts. I couldn't have asked for a better shower.

There were a couple of funny things that were so indicative of the white trash that were in attendance. There was a small book put together where everyone included a small note to "the bride to be"...or ME...one of the notes said, and i paraphrasing because I don't have it in front of me: "As Jerri Hall once said, Be a Lady on the street, and a WHORE in the bedroom...and in the hallway, the kitchen, the living room..." YEAH! I was thanking the lord that I didn't decide to read those out loud...

The other was while I was opening my gifts. My step-mother's, step-mother (yeah, I know, whatever...) my step-grandmother...? Got me some really nice things off of my registry. Then, I noticed a lovely apron in the bag. I thought maybe she made it...well - she decided to let me know that there was a story that went along with it...OH NO...She said "One day, when your husband calls you and tells you that he's had a really bad day, greet him at the door with ONLY the apron on". Needless to say I was a LITTLE embarrassed. I mean, shit! It was FAMILY TIME right? Oh well...

On that note, I don't know what my deal is but I've been such a little horn dog lately. I don't know what's going on. The mere thought of TSO makes me ready to go. I have been all over him this weekend. I'm sure he's not complaining and if I went into details I would probably make some of you blush - some of you would probably just scoff at us (Steph) - but DAAAAAMN, I'm almost sore but uhhh...ready for more! Whooo...by the way...sex with your shoes on is a definite "yes" for men! Believe me, there will be NO complaining there. Isn't it funny how it's okay for females but creepy for men! uhhh, yeah. Anyway, enough from me. I had a great weekend. Hope everyone else had a great weekend too!

So tomorrow is the first of my two bridal showers...I'm kind of getting nervous. Does that sounds weird? I am just not good with having all of the attention on ME. I am usually the party planner. I am usually hosting parties to honor other people so this is going to be tough. I feel like I should be doing something. I hope I'll be able to relax and let people just take care of me. All I know is I'm going to start drinking when I get to the shower and they better keep em comin oh about every 15 minutes or so...I have to pace myself.

I have to have two showers because my families are just too big so we had to split it up into mom's side and dad's side. This weekend is my dad's family and my step mom's family. I am very close with my dad's fam. I shwuv them dearly. My step mom's family on the other hand...hmmm, how do I say this? THEY'RE WHITE TRASH in the most white trash kind of way! My step mom is literally the ONLY sane, normal, non-white trash one of the bunch. She is actually wonderful, an angel! I'll give you some of the examples of her family's white trashness:

Exhibit A - For about 10 years straight every 3 years or so we met a new aunt or uncle that my step mom's dad fathered through the years while he was still married to her mom (they're not anymore thank god)

Exhibit B - One of her sisters is in her 40's, is a GRANDMOTHER of 3 and just had her fifth child. She's a single mother. She's only been married once to her first child's father, I think when she was 16!

Exhibit C - They have all had/have dependencies to some type of drug/alcohol and have a bad habit of starting fights at their own family events - I'm talking blood, guts, police activity. Most recently one of her bro's started a fight at one of my parent's cookouts where he proceeded to throw slut sister (from Exhibit B) down on the concrete - you could hear her head hit the ground! - Needless to say he is no longer welcome in my families home and to be honest I wish there was some way I could not invite him and his white trash family to my wedding!!!

SO - you kind of get the point, huh? I don't even want these people to show up or give me gifts. I don't want anything to do with them. Uggh, family!

Now, this shower is not with my best girlfriends so the chances of us having to play lame games is significantly high! I am very sad about that and I pray that someone has some sense and put a stop to that. I'll let you all know.

Last night TSO and I met some friends out then came home during a ferocious thunder storm. I haven't seen a storm so vicious around here in a long time. It was so bad that parts of Rock Creek Parkway were closed due to flooding and it had only been raining for about 10 minutes. So, we got home, opened a bottle of wine and sat on the porch and watched the storm until about 3am. Mother nature is truly amazing, you should have seen the light show and heard the explosive thunder! I am EXHAUSTED today but it was an amazing night. I highly recommend it. It's the most fun I've had without spending any money in long time. Well...other than...nevermind!

Hope everyone has a good weekend...mine will be questionable!

Well...Ecuador got their asses whipped by Germany (3 - 0) BUT they were already moving onto the next round of the World Cup regardless of today's outcome so it didn't hurt too bad. They really didn't look very good though!

My mom came by my house this morning and brought me the $10 from my doctor co-pay and these:

She must really feel bad...

So, I got almost all of the bridesmaids flops completed. For some reason they look a lot better in person than in this picture but I'll show you anyway. I found these super cute iridescence heart shaped sequence and against the white flops they sparkle and look adorable.

Anyway, not much going on today. Hope everyone is having a great day!

It was a very productive weekend! Sometimes not having The Sweet One around results in me getting my shit done. Saturday I got up early and dropped off all the old paint and other toxic crap that was left in my basement by the old owner (I've lived in my house for about 5 years now - yeah, I'm on top of things) at a collection station that was set up at a local middle school over the weekend. Then I went and picked up my dad's truck and the family dog and went to take a dining room table off a friend's hands and moved it into my house. I got cleaned up and went on a dress buying rampage. TSO's bro is getting married in North Carolina in about 3 weeks and I suddenly realized that I don't have shite to wear, at least nothing that I haven't been seen in and that's a huge no no. I bought 3 dresses for about $280. Not ideal. I hate spending money on shit that I need, but it was time I suppose and Lord and Taylor was having a massive sale. One of the dresses ended up being $45 with all of the discounts - can't beat that. I may return one. I have to try them on for TSO and we'll see...

After the shopping spree I went to the craft store to get sequence to decorate the flip flops I plan to give my bridesmaids at the rehearsal dinner. THEN I went to Nordstrom to talk to a Mac makeup artist about doing the makeup for my wedding. I think I found one I like. Now I need to know how much she charges...yuck! And I ran into my little sister who is interning at the N. I had a hand full of items that were on sale and she agreed to get them for me at 20% less than what they were. Got to love sisters, especially one's that work at Nordstrom!

Saturday night I went out with some friends in D.C. The bartender at the bar just so happened to be in LOVE with my friend Tracy and kept feeding us shots, beers, well...prettty much whatever we wanted - I think he told me to just sit down, shut up and drink at one point - and he didn't charge us a DIME. At the end of the night we TRIED to leave him $20 each but he got super pissed and gave us our money back. So, I know where I'll be drinking from now on, just have to try and convince Tracy to go out with this guys, at least once...You know, take one for the team. No one says she has to sleep with him!

Father's Day was fine. Spent it with my daddy. It was so fucking hot here I thought I was going to melt. We ate crabs outside, one of mine and my dad's favorite things to do, and I think everyone was a little relieved when the crabs ran out. We needed to get back inside into the air conditioning. We have become such wimps, I know, but I like me some A.C.

I went to the doctor this morning. He thinks my mom is crazy too. He KNOWS there is nothing wrong with me, including my weight, BUT, to please me and her, he took some blood. It hurt. I'm a freakin BABY when it comes to needles. Then, he told me, ahhh, you should have waited until September to do this because you'll need a blood test for your wedding and THIS ONE WON"T COUNT! I called my mom as soon as I left the office to let her know that she owes me $10 for my co-pay and possibly more for pain and suffering. Oh well, I'm planning to wear this band-aid and cotton ball on my arm ALL DAY as a badge of honor...he he

Okay, long enough post for ya? Hope everyone is having a fabulous Monday. TSO is coming home this afternoon so I am a little giddy!

Okay, so yesterday, as I was drafting my email, my step dad called me to tell me how upset my mom was and how much she knew that she had screwed up. I finished the email. I wrote down EVERYTHING that was bothering me and got all my points across. I was going to post it but it was long and boring so I decided against it. Anyway, I called my mom last night and we spoke about other things and then touched on the issue at hand briefly. Things are good and I think I've made myself clear and we are back on the right track. I feel SO MUCH BETTER!

We got our wedding invitations yesterday. They look so nice! I haven't had time to dive into them yet but I will tonight. By 10pm last night I felt like I was walking in my sleep so I had to crash. I slept until almost 9am this morning! And yes, I had to work today. I got ready quickly and got in a little before 10am. It's about 4pm now and I am OUT OF HERE! Life is good.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I plan to catch up on some major sleep!

Still kind of down in the dumps. My mom sent me an email about something random to disguise her plea for forgiveness. At the end she said, "I am sorry for harping on the same thing all the time. I hope you will start talking to me soon. I Love You..." It just made me sadder. My mom is my best friend and we speak a few times a day. Not speaking to her at all is so hard but I can't speak to her for fear of getting upset and not being able to get out what needs to be said.

I think I'll draft an email to her and really concentrate on being honest, getting the right things out and not making it any worse. Every time something happens, a wedding plan moves forward, anything goes on I pick up the phone to call my mom, then I remember that we're not speaking and it sucks. But I can't "give in". I don't REALLY see it as giving in but I definitely think some things need to be said before we can go back to the way we were.

I am the kind of paranoid freak that thinks, what if something were to happen to my mom and THIS is how we left things? I know I shouldn't think that way but I do and it scares me. I would die, and THAT is why I need to try and make things right, my way, soon! That will be my goal for the next day or two...Wish me luck!

I dropped TSO off at the airport this morning for the bachelor party weekend...Yikes! he he

I just need to post SOMETHING so that I stop seeing the picture of the spider that may possibly be taking my picture also on his little spidy camera by the looks of that flash in his eye...

spidey

This FUCKING spider was in my basement yesterday!!! I am cringing looking at it. I went to grab the detergent to do a load of laundry and thought I was going to die when I saw this! I think he was hairy...TSO wasn't around so I had to go get my 21 year old neighbor to take care of it. He squashed it....EEEWWW

This thing is like a tarantula! It's so big it got red eye when I took a picture of it. I am praying there are none of his relatives still living in my basement or I may have to move out. (*chills*)

SO - The Sweet One is leaving for his bachelor party weekend tomorrow morning...Him and the boys are heading to Montreal, Canada. Gambling, strip clubs...you know, the usual. I think that Montreal is the new Vegas. Guys go to Vegas so many times in their lifetimes that I think it was nice that they changed it up a bit. At first they wanted to go to Amsterdam but that would have resulted in no wedding taking place. I won't even get into that whole thing...I am not worried about him so much. I think he's going to have a BLAST. It's his boys I'm worried about. Some of them can get a little crazy...

When did the tradition ever come about that you are supposed to mess around with a hooker/stripper before you get married? Now, I don't know too many men that have really ever done that, but I think some people really do. I don't think TSO would ever do something so stupid and gross, he just doesn't seem the type or like he would want to mess around with a dirty girl, but I really could see some of his creepier friends doing something like that. Maybe they will, they have nothing to lose and they're not getting married. Hey, maybe some of them will come back married...he he!

I'll update you all when he gets back, mainly to let you know if the wedding is going forward, JUST KIDDING...I do have to say, with the way my week started and everything I have been dealing with, TSO has been nothing short of phenomenal. He has been so supportive and encouraging and it's days like that and his showing of love and support for me that reaffirms why I am marrying this man. He is truly my soul mate and my better half...

okay, enough of the sappy shite!

I must work. Is it Friday yet?

Fuck! I know this is pathetic and so dumb to be harping on but I have to get what happened yesterday off my chest. I am not going into this fishing for compliments or for people to tell me that I'm skinny, be happy, blah, blah, blah. I respect everyone's opinions and comments no matter what you say to me. Okay, bear with me...

So, my mom and my step dad have always been "health conscious". They work out regularly, they eat well, meaning, they don't eat much more than chicken and veggies (BORING), and whether they want to admit it or not, I think they are totally shallow and think that looking good is everything.

SO, since I was young I have been exposed to the aerobics classes, the rice cake era, my mom even took me to Jenny Craig when I was in middle school. They told me that in order to lose the weight I wanted I would have to get a letter from my doctor, meaning, I didn't need to lose that kind of weight. I have always considered myself a little overweight, I have NEVER felt comfortable with my body and this makes me really sad. When I look back at pictures of myself in middle school, high school, college and think what an IDIOT I must be! I was thin! I had a great body and I could never see it!

I have battled my "weight issues" all my life. I've abused laxatives, I've taken prescription diet pills illegally, I've taken every supplement from GNC you could think of and I've been on every, EVERY diet you could imagine. The damage I've done to my body is probably way beyond any good I've ever done. And I don't think ANYONE can relate to this unless it's something you have or you do go through, and I understand that.

Lately I've been feeling pretty good about myself. I've been going to the gym about 3 -4 times a week, I eat pretty well as it is, I admit I splurge every now and then but who doesn't? And that's not something I will ever deprive myself of. I'm of the opinion that if you work out and take care of yourself then you deserve a treat. I also love to cook and The Sweet One and I have a shared passion for food, it's not something I'm ashamed of what so ever. AND of course, the big one...I drink. I like to drink. During the week I am not out of control, I MAY drink one night out of the week but on the weekends I let loose and I don't see anything wrong with that either.

Well, TSO and I spent this past weekend with my mom. We had a great weekend and we all really enjoyed ourselves. When I got into work on Monday morning I had a message from my mom. She had called me at 4am! She told me that she was really worried about my weight. She thinks I could have diabetes or high blood pressure and she thinks I need to change my eating and drinking habits because I could be a heart attack waiting to happen. Well, the horrible feelings just came rushing in and my day was ruined (believe me, the day went down hill from there). Of course I couldn't help but cry. I will take responsibility and say that yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds, couldn't we all? But for fuck's sake. To say that you're worried about me when in actuality you are worried that I don't LOOK perfect or the way you think I should is simply pathetic. She wants me to be a stick figure I think. I have boobs! BIG ONE'S! I have an ass, a JLo Booty if you will, I have HIPS, I HAVE CURVES. I'm pretty proportionate to be honest. Being a stick figure is just not in the cards for me and I have a feeling that if I was stick thin, she still wouldn't be satisfied. I know it's a little late but I am JUST figuring this out. Isn't it funny that even when you think you have a pretty normal family and you grew up okay the assholes are still fucking you up for life? I think I should have gone into psychiatry...you never see shrinks going out of business!

I'm feeling better today but my mom has called me 5 times and I haven't answered the phone. She finally left a message and said, "I hope you're not mad at me..." HA! I'm just not ready to speak to her. I'm thinking of sending her an email. A cop out I assume but I think if I try and talk to her I may cry and I don't want to. We'll see what happens...

I'm pretty certain I was not meant to get out of bed today. Nothing on top of nothing is going right and I am ready to lose my mind. I've already cried so that gets that out of the way...

Is it Friday yet?

Wow, Blogger's really been a huge pain in the arse the last few days huh?

I had a really bad dream this morning. I woke up, eyes wide open at 5am on the dot. You could tell that the sun had just started coming up but it was still that dark, gloomy, blue color in the house. I finally went back to sleep at about 5:45am and my alarm clock went off at about five after 6. I really needed to go to the gym but I just couldn't do it. I did however make a deal with myself that I would go after work so that's what I plan to do. I hate going to the gym in the evenings now. It seems like such a chore when all you want to do is go home and sit on the couch and eat (ha ha, I'm a fat ass). Instead I get to go hang out with a bunch of smelly, sweaty idiots that will be using all of the machines...I'm not bitter.

So, my dream... The funny thing is, now that I think about it in the light of day, the dream is so fucking ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense. At 5am it was the scariest, suspense thriller you could imagine...I was waiting for someone to come out of the shadows in my bedroom. Then I started freaking myself out and thinking of scenes from the new Omen movie. I am truly a tool.

I'm on a mission to eat everything in my freezer before buying any more food. I really have a problem with shopping I think. So, I'm starting with some chicken breast that I plan to pound the living hell out of before I cook. For some reason cooking chicken has really ooged me out lately. When I handle it and cook it I find that I don't want to eat it when it's done. If you have any pounded chicken recipes that you want to share, send them my way.

We'll see what happens. Anyway, I hope everyone has a good night.

Well, as you can imagine, the beach was a blast and very relaxing all at the same time. We were in a house with about 25 other people, family and friends and believe it or not it wasn't mayhem.

Everyone played pretty nice together. We all did our share of cooking and cleaning and making the pitchers of mixed drinks and cutting the limes for the Corona's. We ate well, we slept well, we drank well, 'nuff said!

This weekend was another one filled with drunken debauchery. It never fails. I say I'm getting too old for this crap yet there I am every weekend waking up with a wicked hangover and doing nothing productive to cure it. At this point I couldn't even tell you what I did on Friday night and I'm not kidding. I can't remember and no drugs were even ingested to bring this brain lapse on. Saturday The Sweet One and I went to the grocery store to "pick up a few things". $175 later we left with a car full of goodies. We started off the night right with a fabulous grilled dinner. We made steaks, corn on the cob, grilled peppers and tomatoes and mozzarella and feasted before going out. Look at how purdy it was:

That evening a large group of us headed down to Georgetown right on the waterfront and to a local spot where one of our friends bartends (a full night of drinking for $11 is never a bad thing) and to celebrate one of TSO's roomie's birthday. Well, our friend wasn't working so we split. We headed to a club called FLY. It has an airplane theme. All of the bartenders were dressed as sexy stewards. It was quite amusing. I'm not too keen on clubs but I have to tell you, they were playing great music which I feel doesn't happen often in clubs, and one of my girlfriends and I shook our little asses pretty much all night long. I was hit on by lots of boys and given lots of compliments. This does wonders for an engaged old woman's ego, let me tell you! Last memory from the night was TSO making frozen pizza and me laying on the kitchen floor with roomie's dog at approximately 4:30am. 12:30 sunday afternoon came fast and furiously and I thought I was gonna die.

I think I just started to not be drunk anymore at about 3:30pm, just about when we started drinking beer and eating crabs. So, we basically just kept drinking to mask the hangover. I knew today it was all going to come to a head and here we are. Monday morning, at work and suffering from a two day old delayed hang over. Needless to say, I won't be heading to the gym today. And I wonder why I can't seem to lose any weight. Hmmm...

Anyway, I hope that everyone had a lovely weekend and Monday is treating you better than it's treating me!