The Funky Bee

My own personal blah, blah, blah...

Friday, June 26, 2009

So the boy and I are riding down the road yesterday and out of no where comes this..."thing"! Speeding up behind us and weaving in and out. I thought I was in an episode of Scooby Doo because you don't regularly see phantoms that look like this in real life. Anyway, along comes what I can only describe as a monster on a motorcycle...You be the judge:


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Seriously, I've never seen a motorcycle helmet like this and I even tried to google it and only came up with helmets with mow hawks or other funny things. This helmet was seriously scary! The face was pretty scary too but I couldn't get a shot of it, I'm actually surprised I got this picture to be honest. It was like a Skeletor face and then the creepy hair was blowing in the wind. Has anyone ever seen these helmets?

Note to self, must tell the boy there is absolutely NO motorcycles in his future and NO scary helmets, for any reason...

Happy Friday Everyone!!!


Monday, June 22, 2009



Another good reason to be done with Breast Feeding!


vino

Ahhh...welcome back vino, welcome back!


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

So where was I? Okay, so, parenthood...yes, it's very time consuming. My husband went back to work today and that was sad. I did cry, but that's nothing new. Having a baby makes you, well, me, very emotional. I think I've cried more in the last 13 days than I've cried my entire life. Wow, who knew?

So, I'll start off with my very first rant. Yayy you who gets to read it! Now, I am going to start off by apologizing to anyone who I may offend with this rant because I know that the subject I am about to broach is one that people feel extremely passionate about but since this is my blog it's too bad. You'll just have to deal with my one sided opinions. And here we go...

So, I was all ready to breastfeed my child. Not only was I "ready" I had done my homework. I read all the books, I bought all the "gear", I was in the gung ho breastfeeding camp, and with all of that ammunition I had no reason to think or imagine that I would fail at my attempts.

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Things started out well. The baby latched on to my boob within minutes of being born. I though, hooray! This is going to work, I knew I could do it. And, it was working. For the first couple of days the boy was sucking away and in turn, peeing and pooping, which means he was getting something, right? Until the meltdown and then the pumping revealed that in actuality I was not getting any actual milk, or at least not enough to feed my baby significantly.

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My point really is this, in recent years, breastfeeding has become this mandatory thing that all mothers must do. If you don't, you are poisoning your children with the dreaded formula. I mean, we are all victim to the information, or rather biased opinions that are put out there, myself included. Without really knowing it, the books I was reading were basically poisoning me against feeding my child anything but breast milk. There were quotes like, "if you're doing it right it doesn't hurt". BULL SHIT! Talk to anyone in the world, successful or not at breast feeding, that shit hurts! I know I gave up pretty quickly but I was in tears at how badly it hurt. First being suckled like a cow by the boy and then being pumped like a cow - my nipples were bleeding and raw...I know, it's a hot visual! Believe me, no one was more horrified than I was!

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You know what else? Some people just can't do it, and you know what else? It's okay. If formula was so bad for children then how come so many millions of them eat it successfully every day without consequence? I felt so horribly guilty and depressed that the whole breastfeeding thing wasn't working out for me. Believe me, I have some pretty big tits, the fact that they don't produce milk has completely baffled me! But, that's just how it works sometimes. I mean, I just gave up and nothing ever happened. No engorgement, no soreness, nothing. No milk!

I by no means have anything against women who do breast feed. If anything, I am envious. I think it's a completely personal thing and some people love the closeness it gives them with their children. It's a beautiful thing. I am just so over how big of a deal it is these days. One of the first things that every person I speak to, male or female, asks me is, "are you breast feeding?" I am not joking, and I'm guilty of doing it to other women. My freakin mother in law was about to call the La Leche League on me to have a lactation natzi come to my house, that's how passionate she is about it.

From now on I will never ask another woman if she is breast feeding. It's none of my business and I would never want to make anyone else feel as guilty as I have for stopping. And, as I've done some research, I am not arguing that nothing could be better for your child than breast milk, however, did you know that in studies it has been proven that breast fed children only suffer from approximately one less cold than formula fed children? My mom didn't even attempt to breast feed me - in those days the word was that breast feeding was not cool, oh how times have changed, and I think I turned out pretty perfect! And I think my kid's on his way to being pretty perfect too...

Kai and Lucy


Friday, June 12, 2009

Well, hello there. Finally starting to feel a little "normal", whatever that is...So, hmmm, what's been going on? Well, as I said before I had a very long day of labor on the 3rd. The entire time my doc was pushing for a C-section. I think she just wanted to go home for the evening. Well, I'm certain she just wanted to go home. But I held my ground and I was confident that I could do this. And, with a little bit of prayer and time, we made it happen and our boy was born, healthy and happy!

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The first couple of nights in the hospital were nothing short of surreal. It's like, huh? Where am I and what is going on? And all we really wanted to do was go home to be honest with you. The labor and delivery nurses were amazing, knowledgeable, sweet, caring. The overnight/maternity ward nurses were fucking idiots. One would be decent and the next one would be a total asshole. I had to ask one nurse to take my way overdue I.V. out of my arm 6 times - no joke! I almost took it out myself but decided she "might" be a little better qualified...I should have just let the baby do it.

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We came home on Friday and thus began our new life. What can I say? we're still getting adjusted. I assume we will be for the next 18 years. Saturday was our meltdown night. After attempting to feed my boy all day (I started breastfeeding exclusively in the hospital) he decided after our 8:45pm feeding that he would no longer take the boob. Not only would he not latch on, he only wanted to wail at the top of his lungs. From about 9pm - 3am he just cried and cried and cried. And then I cried and the dog cried and the hubby was seriously as close to tears as I've ever seen him! We had no idea what to do. It was heartbreaking.

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At about 3:30am, in our delirium, I remembered, thank god, that I had some sample formula that they gave us at our birthing classes. I made a bottle. The boy ate. The boy slept from 4am - 8am, mommy slept, daddy slept, pooch slept. And my mom, who might be an angel from heaven, came to our house to let us continue sleeping while she looked after the child. Life was good!

So, the next day my best friend brought over the breast pump I was planning to borrow. I stuck my sore nipples in the utter milkers and started the torture. Almost in tears from the pain, I stuck it out for about 10 minutes and low and behold, I got about 15 drops of "milk" out of my ta ta's. And then the light bulb moment...Ah Ha! I've been starving my baby for the last 24 - 36 hours. Yayyy! No wonder the little guy was so pissed off! I felt so guilty but thankful that I remembered that we had formula in the house.

Since actually eating, our baby has been a heck of a lot happier, go figure, as have mommy and daddy! Note to all future and current parents; always feed your kids!

More to come...

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Saturday, June 06, 2009

Welcome...

Kai Robert. Born on Wednesday, June 3rd at 9:38pm, weighing in at 7lb's 1 oz and 20 inches long.

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It was a very long day/night. We checked into the hospital to be induced at 4:30am on Wednesday. We began the inducement around 6am and only 15 hours later delivered our healthy baby boy! I'm not gonna lie, that was one of the toughest things I've ever done. My husband is truly a rock star! He was so loving and perfect all day. I couldn't have done it without him (in all senses).

We came home Friday afternoon and Lucy has been amazing. God I love that dog. She loves Kai already. She cries when he cries and loves to sniff and lick him. We are all trying to get the hang of all this...It gets better every day, thank god! More updates to come...

Monday, June 01, 2009




Waiting...Waiting...Waiting...