So where was I? Okay, so, parenthood...yes, it's very time consuming. My husband went back to work today and that was sad. I did cry, but that's nothing new. Having a baby makes you, well, me, very emotional. I think I've cried more in the last 13 days than I've cried my entire life. Wow, who knew?

So, I'll start off with my very first rant. Yayy you who gets to read it! Now, I am going to start off by apologizing to anyone who I may offend with this rant because I know that the subject I am about to broach is one that people feel extremely passionate about but since this is my blog it's too bad. You'll just have to deal with my one sided opinions. And here we go...

So, I was all ready to breastfeed my child. Not only was I "ready" I had done my homework. I read all the books, I bought all the "gear", I was in the gung ho breastfeeding camp, and with all of that ammunition I had no reason to think or imagine that I would fail at my attempts.

Things started out well. The baby latched on to my boob within minutes of being born. I though, hooray! This is going to work, I knew I could do it. And, it was working. For the first couple of days the boy was sucking away and in turn, peeing and pooping, which means he was getting something, right? Until the meltdown and then the pumping revealed that in actuality I was not getting any actual milk, or at least not enough to feed my baby significantly.

My point really is this, in recent years, breastfeeding has become this mandatory thing that all mothers must do. If you don't, you are poisoning your children with the dreaded formula. I mean, we are all victim to the information, or rather biased opinions that are put out there, myself included. Without really knowing it, the books I was reading were basically poisoning me against feeding my child anything but breast milk. There were quotes like, "if you're doing it right it doesn't hurt". BULL SHIT! Talk to anyone in the world, successful or not at breast feeding, that shit hurts! I know I gave up pretty quickly but I was in tears at how badly it hurt. First being suckled like a cow by the boy and then being pumped like a cow - my nipples were bleeding and raw...I know, it's a hot visual! Believe me, no one was more horrified than I was!

You know what else? Some people just can't do it, and you know what else? It's okay. If formula was so bad for children then how come so many millions of them eat it successfully every day without consequence? I felt so horribly guilty and depressed that the whole breastfeeding thing wasn't working out for me. Believe me, I have some pretty big tits, the fact that they don't produce milk has completely baffled me! But, that's just how it works sometimes. I mean, I just gave up and nothing ever happened. No engorgement, no soreness, nothing. No milk!

I by no means have anything against women who do breast feed. If anything, I am envious. I think it's a completely personal thing and some people love the closeness it gives them with their children. It's a beautiful thing. I am just so over how big of a deal it is these days. One of the first things that every person I speak to, male or female, asks me is, "are you breast feeding?" I am not joking, and I'm guilty of doing it to other women. My freakin mother in law was about to call the La Leche League on me to have a lactation natzi come to my house, that's how passionate she is about it.

From now on I will never ask another woman if she is breast feeding. It's none of my business and I would never want to make anyone else feel as guilty as I have for stopping. And, as I've done some research, I am not arguing that nothing could be better for your child than breast milk, however, did you know that in studies it has been proven that breast fed children only suffer from approximately one less cold than formula fed children? My mom didn't even attempt to breast feed me - in those days the word was that breast feeding was not cool, oh how times have changed, and I think I turned out pretty perfect! And I think my kid's on his way to being pretty perfect too...