WARNING...

Do not use this toothpaste!!!

Holy lord. Like a total ass I used a coupon and got two tubes of this shit for the price of one. Lucky me. I thought I was going to die when I put this junk in my mouth.

It literally feels like you dropped the paste onto the beach and are brushing your teeth with very gritty sand. Then, on top of that, the taste is horrid. It leaves your mouth dry and dehydrated like you have been drinking for three days straight and are suffering from a lingering hangover and need immediate Gatorade action. I don't know about you but I don't really expect my toothpaste to make my mouth feel like this. Quite the opposite actually.

I did, like a big girl, go back to the grocery store and return this stuff and get some normal toothpaste - my mom would be so proud. I know it's tempting to try this out because of my lovely description but I beg of you, don't do it to yourselves or your families. You are better off grabbing a hand full of dirt from outside and rubbing it into your teeth and gums....

Well, let's see...I'll start by apologizing for being away so long. I hope some of you are still around but I wouldn't be surprised if everyone has moved on.

I feel like nothing and everything has been going on the last few days/weeks. I'll start with my "scare" the week of Thanksgiving.

So, I was asked by the people that are planning to offer me a job to come in and fill out some HR paper work. I didn't really ask what that meant and they didn't really offer any explanation. I was just anxious to get this rolling and I think they were too seeing as they want me to start working the first week of December (yes - next week) and I have yet to get my offer letter. That would help.

So, we were planning to leave for North Carolina on Tuesday so I agreed to come in on Monday morning and get this out of the way so things could get moving. I get to the office and the HR rep comes to get me. Hubby is waiting in the car for me because we really did have a lot of crap to do and I didn't expect things would take too long.

So, as we're heading up to the office I ask the rep, "what exactly am I filling out today by the way?". The rep says, oh, you are filling out your paperwork for your background check and your drug test............SCREEEEEECH!! Okay. I didn't really hear much of anything from that point on. Don't get me wrong, I'm no "druggie" but lets put it this way, a very mild substance which is unfortunately considered "illegal" in the United States may or may not have been inhaled the very night before.

I seriously thought I was going to die. I have never had to take a drug test for a job, and if you knew what industry I worked in you would probably question why I would they would even bother testing for drugs. It's not like I have any involvement with children nor do I drive a tractor so I'm baffled.

Well, on top of the fact that I'll probably have to take a test the HR rep informs me that I have to take it within 48 hours. Okay, now I'm dead. How on earth am I going to explain to everyone I know that I'm not getting this job that I was basically assured of. Holy shit. It was a nightmare. Long, long, long story short I was able to work it so that I could take the test this past Monday, as in yesterday. A whole week later. I really dodged a bullet and I am praying that the results do come out negative. If not, guess who's back on the job search?

Anyway, so we made it to North Carolina. The pooch did surprisingly well in the car - she has been getting car sick a lot lately and throwing up but she didn't this time, go figure. She slept a lot and we spoiled her by sharing our McDonald's breakfast with her. She really is a little princess.

The weather was incredible. In the 80's for the first few days and not even that cold by the day after Thanksgiving, I think it was in the low 60's, which was cold in comparison but still not too bad. We had lots of fun, ate a lot of good food, drank a lot and Lucy got to experience the beach for the first time. She loved it! We had so much fun with her and she even did great with all the family and kids that were in town for the holiday. She made her mama and daddy proud! I was over the hubby's family by the last day but that's bound to happen. I would have been over my family after spending that much time with them too but I've found that being with someone else's family always makes you appreciate yours just that much more.

I have vowed to finish my Christmas shopping by the end of this week and I'm on track to do it. If I start working next week I won't have time to go out shopping and avoiding the crowds on week days anymore so I'm on a mission.

That's about all I got. Lots of, well...nothing. I hope all of your lives are way more exciting than mine. I'm putting some pic's below. I'm going to go check in on all of you now. Cross your fingers, say prayers, send good vibes, whatever, to make sure I get this job. I need it!

www.flickr.com

How big are your balls?

Okay, so the other day the pooch and I were driving down the road and I saw this truck in front of me. I think I drove with my mouth hanging open for a few miles before I decided to try and locate my camera.

Yes, I'll admit I almost crashed about three times while fumbling through my bag for the camera and then again when I was trying to drive 75 miles per hour and take an in focus picture but I got one and here it is.

What would you call this?? Car balls? Tow balls? Oy! Whatever it is it's gross. I can't believe someone would have the "balls", pardon my pun, to actually put this on their vehicle and drive around with it in plain view. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK! all I can say is whoever chose to put this on their car is someone I hope to never know.

Hey Boys...I smell Christmas present...

Stuff...

So Miami was a blast of course. The weather was perfect. I was nervous that it was going to rain the whole time since there were remnants of a hurricane passing by the east coast last weekend but it didn't effect us thankfully.

The temp's were in the 80's and we got to lay on the beach 3 days in a row. Pure heaven. Saturday night our hosts dropped what the hubby seems to think is close to $10,000 for us all to have fun. Crazy? YES! But hey, whatever floats your boat.

We started off doing lemon drops at the hotel bar then proceeded to the two large limo's waiting for us all outside. I would say there was about 30 of us. Then we went to dinner at a place called Tantra. The picture below of my feet on the grass is a shot of the INSIDE of the restaurant. The food and drinks were amazing and our hosts paid for all of it! I don't think there was an entree, let alone an appetizer for less than $30. We all ate, drank, had a champagne toast, cake for the b-day girl then a hookah just for kicks. I can't imagine what that bill looked like but I hope to never see one that big in my lifetime. At least not one that I have to pay for.

After dinner and mini-dancing as I like to call it, we headed back to the limo's and on to the club. Now, at this point I was already getting a little loopy - couldn't have been the 4 vodka shots pre-dinner then lord knows how many drinks at the restaurant...So I don't know what the club was called. It may have been Mansion but the hubby said it was just numbers. Who knows or cares? Anyway, we were ushered in to VIP past the mobs and mobs of people waiting in line. It was NUTS. I mean, I've been to clubs before and I've seen lines to get in but this was madness.

We went upstairs and proceeded to our VIP area where our host had 4 bottles brought to our table. Now, if you've ever been to a club and gotten bottle service it can run anywhere from $100 - $600 a bottle depending on what you get, etc. I am pretty certain bottle service at this club was no less than $500 a bottle and we had 4!! I know there was a bottle of Patrone and a bottle of Grey Goose but I can't remember what the other two bottles were. I had hoped I would have stopped drinking at this point but I didn't. Instead I got lost in the club and ended up hanging with Diddy's and his peeps. I barely remember this point but apparently told the hubby all about it when I got back with him. Lord...what a night.

Apparently when we got back to the hotel I crashed face first into the bed - fully dressed! HA!! I woke up in a panic - fully dressed - and had to shake the bed out to find my wedding ring! I almost had a heart attack. And believe me, I paid for it most of the day. The delayed hang over is never fun. NEVER.

Sunday we spent the entire day on the beach and if you check out the picture below of Mr. Incredible you will see some of what we saw. This guy was HUGE and hilarious. He couldn't even lower his arms to his sides. I don't know who thinks this is sexy or looks good but I think it's just comical. This dude stood for like 4 hours. I'm thinking he was unable to even sit down but I wouldn't challenge him on it, that's for sure. There were also lots of topless sunbathers which I think the hubby enjoyed. All in all it was a great weekend. I was happy to get home to the pooch who was in turn so excited to see us!

www.flickr.com

Randomness...

So I finally took pictures of the chair cushions that I recovered for my sister. I think they turned out pretty well and I love the fabric:

So, we leave for Miami butt ass early tomorrow morning and I'm really looking forward to it. This sounds ridiculous but I am looking forward to spending some quality time with my husband. I feel like the more time I spend at home, the less time I spend with my hubby. By the time he gets home from work and we have dinner and do our thing it seems like it's time to go to bed and we haven't spent any real quality time together. Next thing you know it's early in the morning and he's off to work and the cycle starts all over again. I guess when I was working it was easier because we both left in the AM, went to an office and then got home around the same time and spent the same amount of time at home and together...I don't know. Believe me, I'm not complaining about being home. I would love to continue to have health insurance and get paid to stay home for the rest of my life but I still haven't figured out how to work that one.

Anyway, I am also going to miss the pooch more than I thought! I was laying in bed with my little baby this morning thinking how I am really sad to leave her. She and I have been spending a ton of time together these days and it's gonna be weird to leave her for a few days. I'm glad it's only for a weekend. It'll do us good to have a few days apart. But she really is so cute and sweet. I love that stinky little bitch.

Well, I hope that everyone has a great weekend. I'm leaving you with pictures of our makeshift photo shoot. It was supposed to be a goof kind of thing that me and one of my sisters were doing but the pooch ended up "posing" and looking so cute that I had to post these.