So, fellow blogger Cold Hands kind of got me thinking about this the other day and since then I can't stop thinking about this dumb show.

I'm talking about The Real Housewives of Orange County (and subsequent spin off's Atlanta and New York). Okay, I am embarrassed as it is to admit that when this stupid fucking show comes on I get sucked in like a damn train wreck and often can't change the channel. So much so that I know the stupid stories going on from last week and know the relationships between these whores. It also might have something to do with the fact that Bravo replays this show like 6,000 times a day. Mainly while I'm watching I kind of just sit there with my jaw on the floor, head shaking, wondering, what planet these people come from. For reference, and I know you don't need it because I can assure you that every one of you has seen this show in some capacity, here is a picture:

These women have to be some of the worst people on earth. They are the most vapid, self centered, self absorbed, pathetic, mean spirited, superficial, materialistic, ugly people I have ever had the misfortune of "watching".

Some of them can't move their faces because of all their botox. They are all so obsessed with "looking" young, when in actuality they look like pathetic, plastic old women trying too hard. They do the meanest things to one another and "outsiders" and still, they go to bed happy at night as if they were good people.

A few episodes ago a couple of these dumb bitches went on a trip to Napa with their bitches, I mean, husbands and seriously should be so embarrassed of their performances. They made a big deal about the fact that they were going to a very fancy restaurant, which they are accustomed to of course...While dining on their wine pairing tasting menu, these bitches make themselves look like the biggest morons on the planet. They claim to have great taste and be so worldly when in actuality they are nothing more than trailer trash that happened to come into some money.

While dining on dishes that most uncultured human being would recognize, if not from trying themselves, at the very least from watching the Food Network, they made themselves, effortlessly I must say, look like fools!

When the oysters arrived, Whore #1 let everyone know that she could not stomach them in any way shape or form. Okay, understandable, some people just don't care for the texture of raw oysters. I'll give them that one.

When the next dish came out, some sashimi style fish, perhaps it was tuna, Whore #2 poked at it and then decided, "I don't do the sushi thing". Okay you fuck, why did you order all of this shit if you don't eat it...but I digress...

The next dish comes out and it's some type of bone marrow, which most people know is currently very trendy and considered a delicacy. All of the dinner guests scoffed and just couldn't bring themselves to even TRY the dish.

Next comes the Foie Gras. Fist of all, no one at the table has even HEARD of this dish. So, they ask the waiter what it is and he explains to the idiots that it's duck liver and fat. Personally, I don't care for the dish. I've tried it and it's too rich for my unrefined pallet, however, these upper crust bitches should, if nothing else, have heard of it! Of course W#1 and W#2 agree that they cannot fathom eating duck liver and fat. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? You are eating a meal that is probably about $150 - 200 a person, has a menu designed by a talented chef and you can't even taste these dishes that you clearly have never heard of? UUGGHH! I HATE YOU!

They all eventually leave probably starving, a feeling I'm sure they're used to by now, and honestly, they should have just grabbed a slice of pizza or hit the McDonald's because clearly that's all their pallet is used to. What a waste of space these people are.

There is one chick who is dating a man that is 2 years younger than her father. He is currently, well, in the show anyway, battling cancer. Since this show was taped I heard that the poor man has passed away. Regardless, this girl is constantly picked on and targeted by the other bitches and it's so mean. It's also because she's only 30, hot and the other sluts are so obviously jealous of her. But, don't get me wrong. She's a stupid whore too. Not much about her is honorable or stand up either, she just seems to be a little less deplorable than the other real whorewives...

Anyway, I could clearly go on forever. And yes, it is hard to be as perfect as I am, but let me put it this way, I would never put my life out there for the world to see and be proud of the way that me and my neighbors lived if I had any of the qualities of these people. I guess that's why someone like me, my family and my friends wouldn't make good television. So, as embarrassed as I am that I watch this trash, I am more embarrassed for these women and their families. Oh, and I probably won't stop watching any time soon, look what our society has become...what can you do?