So, like every other Harry Potter geek on the planet I got my book delivered on Saturday. BUT, unlike every other HP geek I haven't started reading mine yet! Can you believe it? I'm almost scared to start because I know I won't be able to stop and and I just don't want it to be over with yet. I want to savor it and take my time but at the same time am afraid of all the spoilers on tv, the internet, blogs, etc. Oh well...

Another thing is that I may have a lot of free time coming up where I'll really be able to take my time and enjoy the book the way it's supposed to be enjoyed. We'll see soon.

I literally am beside myself. I don't know how to mask it. Work is absolutely miserable. Beyond what I thought it could be. I am just in a constant state of disgust. I have felt like I'm going to throw up since Monday morning and it gets worse every day. It is taking every fiber of my being to not expose the shit that's going on in my company but I know that won't solve anything. As a matter of fact it will probably only get me fired with no severance and that's unnacceptable right now.

The injustice is so disheartening. I want to scream and cry and punch someone. I want to laugh and just say FUCK IT! I want to go home and just hide under the covers with my dog. I want to go clean my house like a mad woman then mess it all up again. I literally feel like I'm going nuts. I can't believe I'm letting this place do this to me.

I was up until 2am copying all of my personal files over to my home computer from the last 8+ years I've been here and then back up again this morning getting all of the last bits. I don't even know how to feel right now. I know everything is going to work out for the best. I am a firm believer in that. And I would never put the importance of a job in the realm of health, family, love, LIFE. I don't even care about this damn job. It's more...I guess I am just mourning what's become of what used to be such a lovely place to work and be a "family". I'm mourning the loss of an era, good people, dedicated employees, the most talented, hard working individuals that have sunk their hearts and souls into a company and industry that has changed to a corporate hole where people are cold, cut throat ass holes who don't care anything about the people who started this thing, kept it afloat and made it the great place it is today.

It's like Yoko came in and broke up the band...again!

Anyway, I'm done now. I won't rant about this again. Well, maybe I will. Bear with me peeps!