HOT

HOT
Originally uploaded by the funky bee.

Okay, first things first...and most importantly, this is what one of my best friends is currently doing!! He is in Men's Health and Men's Fitness this month. He should be every month if you ask me...Can you imagine that body in front of you, I would want to just touch it constantly, lucky bitch!

Okay, now onto the breakdown of the weekend. Ahhh the beach with the ladies. Here's how it went down, the short version (if I can manage to make it short)of course.

1. My liver needs a bath.
2. Laying on the beach sunning your buns has got to be the best way to relax.
3. The amount of drugs and alcohol that ran through my body this weekend causing me a major all day Sunday hangover has got to be the punishment for the relaxing and laying at the beach.
4.I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle on Saturday night! I don't exactly look like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber but I feel like it. When I felt the beer bottle hit my teeth (and I wasn't feeling much at that point) I really thought that my two front teeth HAD to be gone - someone in front of me fell backwards onto my bottle. Thankfully it's just one tooth. And one of my best friends that was with us this weekend is a dental hygentist so I already got the tooth fixed today thank god!
5. Men - married, single, gay, straight, whatever, they are all the same! We met a bachelor party of about 25 guys from LOOWWNG ISLAND, NY staying at our hotel. Their accents alone made you think Tony Soprano was going to come around the corner with a silenced handgun to finish us all off. Although they were all hilarious and a ton of fun it just makes you wonder. There was one who just so happens left his wedding ring in his room that night. Personally I think that is so disgusting! Give me a break. Was he going out looking to hook up with someone? Does he think that his "dad" appearance wasn't completely evident to every woman that passed him (he was in his 40's and looked like he should be taking his kids out for ice cream) and what does he think that everyone will make of his wedding ring tan line? What a tool! Maybe it was the atmosphere, that place does crazy things to people but yuck...that's all I can say! BUT don't get me wrong, the rest of them made up for it. They were funny as hell and proceeded to make us drinks for hours. There is nothing like drinking mixed drinks all afternoon that you don't have to make or PAY FOR. We just sat in the pool like pruny old ladies while we were being waited on hand and foot.
6. Drinking jell-o shooters out of a syringe like contraption is not sexy. Do you know what you look like with a mouth full of alcohol soaked jell-o? Not cute - but after a few it doesn't really matter anymore I guess! The cocktail waitresses actually walk around and shoot these things into your mouth. I'm talking about it so I guess it's made some kind of impact.
7. Is there any way to get brain cells back? Can I buy them somewhere?
8. My damn digital camera is broken! This place obviously effect everything that steps foot in it.
9. No matter how many hot guys you come across, and because you come across a lot that are NOT, this place makes you appreciate home and the person that is there waiting for you. Especially since I do have a hot piece of ass waiting for me!
10. Constantly rubbing your tongue over a chipped front tooth looks suggestive. And rubs a raw spot into your tongue.
11. I took my sneakers and work out clothes to the beach with me. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
12. For every healthy thing that went into my mouth 16 awful pieces of junk food went in after it. I started off doing well and guilting myself into not participating in the 3am pizza and french fry binge. That lasted about 10 minutes! Can't wait for the trainer to come tomorrow morning.
13. My liver hurts
14. I have a new appreciation for the poor guys that actually come up to girls and talk to them. You know who I'm talking about ladies. The one's that you think, how did he have the balls to approach me? Well, this is the guy that will eventually get lucky and find a chick that is ready to party...with him! The other assholes that think they are too cool to talk to women will just sit against the wall like at a 7th grade dance. I have seen it happen a million times so to all of the guys that actually get up the nerve to talk to the ladies - Rock On! You might get shot down...a lot...but you can't succeed if you don't try.

So, that's that. The beach was a blast. We partied too much. I'm home, I'm exhausted, and I'm happy. The end...Fuck, I have to go to work tomorrow. Not so happy anymore.

*sorry - no pictures of the madness. Maybe I'll use one for this week's HNT...