Some rules were meant to be broken...

breath holding
Originally uploaded by the funky bee.

So, M, J and I spent most of Saturday at the pool. Since none of us are lucky enough to own or belong to our own pool we frequent the pool at M's mom's apartment complex. So let me tell you what you will find at this pool...mostly older people and now and then the occassional child that comes with their grandparent. So, needless to say we were the youngest group there by about a hundred years. It was a beautiful day and the perfect thing to do - lay in the sun and jump in the cool water when we needed to get out of the heat.

Now, the most interesting thing about this pool, that by the way was pristine - clean, clear, etc. was the rules. And the nazi-esque life guards. One male and one female, I think they were Polish - insert joke here. They spoke a foreign language to one another and were very precise with switching positions on time (one in the chair and one at the desk at all times), making people sign in and once the children arrived, calling "adult swim". Didn't you hate adult swim when you were a kid? Ugghh I never understood it but let me tell you, as an adult, I Love it! Even five minutes without the constant screaming and splashing is a blessing. When I have children they are going to be awarded their vocal cords when they turn 18, until then I want silence...he he - kidding...

Anyway, They had these crazy rules posted everywhere. The first experience I had with the rules was "no eating on the lawn chairs". I brought some tasty seedless watermellon for the three of us to munch on and was quickly told that there was no eating unless you were on the upper deck by the entrance. Okay, no big deal. Once on the upper deck J and I came across a list of rules that were hilarious. One of our favorites was something to the effect of "no unnecessary splashing unless as a direct result of normal swimming", but the language was much more assanine. And of course, my favorite of all time, "No Breath Holding". That has to be by far the most amusing sign I have seen at a pool in my lifetime. Now, I'm not a moron, I understand their concern and the fact that you can potentially drown from holding your breath, if you are mentally challenged, BUT seriously people. Who didn't have the contest to see who could hold their breath the longest in the pool? And the ever famous, who can get to the other side, or furthest without taking a breath. I mean, I want to know what the consequences are for "competetive breath holding". Do you get thrown out of the pool? Are you no longer allowed to put your upper half under water? Do you get the dreaded Polish torture treatment? If anything this sign just made me want to hold my breath even more, especially competetively.

So, I'm on the count down to fitness now. Only about 12.5 hours until the "trainer" comes to whip me into shape. If I can move my body afterward I'll let you know how it goes...