So the Sweet One, our friend T and I decided to ditch work for a few days and hit the beach. While away we had no computer access and I missed my bloggerville pals so I'm glad to come back and check out what everyone has been up to. It was a much needed mini break. The weather was ironically beautiful, the margaritas were tasty and the time away from work was much needed. But the trip was bitter sweet.

Of course, while we were away the wrath of Katrina took hold of the south. One of mine and the Sweet One's best friends lives in New Orleans. We travel to N.O. at least twice a year to see her, her boyfriend and the wonderful, beautiful, culturally rich city that we and many others have grown to love. Most importantly our friend and her BF and dog are safe and dry at the BF's brother's home in Alabama, but, like most, they have no idea what the state of their house is or if they even have one to go back to at this point. I have to say that I am devastated. I can not stop watching the news even tho I know I need to. I can't stop crying. Just the loss of life alone is hard to fathom. The devastation. The whole city is gone! I can't imagine, this city that I and so many others love, that so many call home, is no longer the same place and it will be so long before it is again.

I wish there was something I could do. I wish I could go down there and dish out food or take people to safety or just give them all hugs, but that is unrealistic. I have given to the American Red Cross and without sounding like a telethon I really urge everyone to do the same. Even $10 that you would have spent on two beers would help. As many of you probably know, a lot of the south is poor. If you've ever been to the south you know that the poor population far outweighs the rich and seeing it up close on the television, all of the people that didn't leave because they really had no where to go now have nothing. Even less than the nothing that they had before Katrina.

Okay, I know I am starting to sound ridiculous. I hope that all of you are safe and dry and that any of your family, friends, loved ones, etc are okay and accounted for.

Now come on Thursday! We need some Half-Nekkid Thursday relief!

The Joys of Living in Our Nation's Capitol

So, the other day there was a bit of a commotion outside of the building where I work. I decided to take a gander out the window and what do I see? the bomb squad! That's right. Roads closed with police tape, Johnny 5 checking out the piece of luggage that was left on the sidewalk, police officer in bomb proof outfit, you know...the whole sha bang as it were.

Apparently this piece of luggage was just left beside a bench. I'm not quite sure, but when I'm traveling I don't happen to leave my shit just laying around ANYWHERE...So, I can understand the concern. I mean, if you're walking around with your rolling suite case doesn't that mean that all of your things are inside and therefore not easily forgotten on the side of a city bench in the middle of a well traveled road?

It was a little unnerving to see all of this go down because we are literally looking out the window wondering if this bag is going to blow up and if so will it have any effect on us and the building that we are in about 300 yards from the action? We weren't evacuated because really, where the hell would we go? It probably would have been safer to stay inside.

I can only imagine how much it costs to have that damn bomb robot come out and check things out. Don't get me wrong, I know the importance and I don't take these things lightly - I'm sure no one does at this day in age, but because some dumb ass left their smelly underwear in a bag that they can't even remember to take with them as they go catch their flight, train, head home, WHATEVER, we are in a panic and have to close roads and businesses...what is this world coming to?

And for god's sake people. If you plan to travel in the coming months and you decide to smoke a big fat one before you take off, PLEASE, PLEASE, try to remember to keep your damn bags with you...thanks
(a message brought to you by the residents of Washington, DC)

And now, for your viewing pleasure, I bring you

THE BOMB SQUAD

The Roads are closed with police tape

Johnny 5 Checks out the bag

The bomb robot is finished examining the bag

Employees in an adjacent building checking out the scene


Police officer in bomb gear gives the thumbs up after checking all of the surrounding trash cans


A Second officer helps look through the dirty drawers in the bag

The officers let everyone know it's safe and begin to clean up and check the luggage label, damn, whoever it belongs to must feel like an ass!

Happy Half - Nekkid Thursday

The Sweet One

Wow! It's Thursday again. Happy HNT! This is my sweet one. Exactly where I like to keep him...half-nekkid and in the kitchen makin' my dinner! OOhh isn't he hot? Hope everyone has a great day.

Not sure what this Half-Nekkid Thursday is that we speak of? Well, check it out HERE!

Beaters, Bras, Boxers and Briefs

white traysh

So I went to a party this weekend. It was called "beaters, bras, boxers and briefs". So basically you had to be wearing one or all of the above. It was hilarious to say the least. There were paper bag koozies and lots of trucker hats. The refreshments consisted of pork rinds, Funyuns, olive loaf, a jell-o mold, slim jim's, boxed wine, PBR, a lot of Budweiser and Schlitz Malt Liquor...did you know it has just the kiss of the hops?

the beer that made Milwaukee Famous

Anyway, it was in simpler terms a "redneck hoo ha" as my friend Wopanese would call it, and he should know, he's (whispers) one of them...

hotties

So, the pic's with the faces showing are of the people that I don't know, can I get in trouble for that? ha ha...who cares, I don't know them. All of the cool kids get their identities concealed - okay, I don't know ALL of the people without faces, like this fine fella below...and yes, that is a MAN wearing those jeans! Hooo Doggie! I think I'm in luuv.

jeans

I went as Britney Spears and wouldn't you know it, there was a Kevin Federline waiting for me at the party. It was a ton of fun and some people got really freakin creative. Lots of fake (or maybe not so fake) hickeys and black eyes. Lots of fake tattoos - I especially liked the neck tat's on the ladies! And lots of bad, bad clothing! Anyway, here are more pic's. Enjoy!

me and Kev

Isn't my man hot? I love when he lets me drink beer while carrying his child. He's so romantic.


the spread

boxed wine, pork rinds, slim jim's, PBR, orange sody pop, Wonder bread...you get the point


classy lady
yup, don't know her either and also unsure as to whether she was wearing her old beat up nasty bra or if this was planned. I really hope it was planned, but it was hot as balls so who knows?? You know how those red necks roll...

olive loaf
nothing more to say than...YUM!

nice drawers
Hmmm, not white trash so much as just GAY dude!!


spam
Mmmm breakfast of champions!


redneck couple


penis pork rind
Yup, came in the bag this way! Penis and pork have always gone together well...

I love my box....of nail polish!

This is my box of nail polish. Over the years it has taken many forms. At one point it was a Caboodle's box (many of the females or men with sisters will remember these trendy little "tackle boxes" for girls that were popular in the 80's/early 90's). It was also a big shopping bag at one time, then a shoe box and now a large box that a pair of boots came in.

my box

As you can tell I tend to buy the same general colors over and over. The nail polish companies love people like me because when I go into the store the shiny little bottles catch my eye like Swarovski Crystals to Paris Hilton and I can never remember what colors I have, or maybe my brain won't let me grasp the fact that I have six bottles of this same color..? So, I buy the damn thing. I am so excited to come home and paint my nails. And when I get home and check my box it appears that once again, I have added to the pinks, cherries, creamy, ballet slipper or wine colors!

My favorite brands are Essie and OPI. Of course these are the most expensive brands ranging from about $6 - $8 a bottle. And since I can never remember the damn colors I can't imagine how much I spend annually on nail polish. I'm sure it's some obscene amount. The best is when you catch a sale and the polish is half price. I get so excited, buy my polish and get it home only to realize that I've done it again...another addition to my box and of course it is in the same family as all of the other colors.

I know it's a horrible addiction, kind of like the shoes (that is a whole other story that I'm sure no one wants to hear about). I know a lot of you ladies share this addiction with me. There is no hope for us, I don't see a change in the future. And if they start a program for Nail polish Anonymous I'm not going...I'll be in denial until the day I die, but at least I'll die with a fabulous mani and pedi!

Oh no she diiin't!

uuhhh, yeah, she did. Okay, I don't like Fugly Simpson, ooh and more of her here, I don't get into the teeny bopper, can't sing, music, BUT I am also addicted to trashy magazine's and television and let's face it, I'm not dead people so I know about theeze things.

Anyway...she's going to be in a movie. A REALLY bad movie I might add (as if I had to expand on that one). It's a movie a la Britney Spears/Crossroads! This fine piece of cinematic history in the making (soon to be released at the AFI I'm certain) is called, appropriately enough, Undiscovered!! Ladies and Gents, we are in for a real treat! Not only do we get to see and hear Ashley Simpson's lack of musical talents on a regular basis, we now get to see her lack of acting skillz too! I don't know about you all but I'm pre-ordering my tickets now!

WHY NOT ME???

So, a really good friend of mine was just 'let go' from our place of business with 6 MONTHS SEVERANCE!!!! while I am completely thrilled for him and feel that he absolutely deserves it, I want to know WHY CAN'T THIS TYPE OF THING HAPPEN TO MEEE????

Oh what I would do with 6 months pay without having to actually show up at the office! I would sleep late, work on my business and STILL be able to pay the bills. I would have HALF A YEAR to fund my dreams. Half a year to do what I REALLY want to do with my life but don't have the time or money for right now!

I didn't think I would ever say this but, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FIRE ME!

Happy Half - Nekkid Thursday!

So first off I want to say that I am so glad that it's Thursday. That means that tomorrow is FRIDAY and I am ready for the weekend. Because I'm such a slacker when it comes to work these days the story behind this week's HNT picture is as follows:

Last Friday I called out sick from work...this is what I did all day!

I am kind of embarrassed because I look sorta like a line backer with no neck but I assure you, it is just because I am hanging on a noodle (you can kind of see it under me - it's blue so hard to make out). I really do have a neck and my arms are really not that muscley. My boobies however are looking quite delicious if I do say so myself. That day just reconfirmed to me the necessity of the mental health day off from work! Thank god for "sick days"!

If you don't know what Half-Nekkid Thursday is all about you should get your head out of your arse and click here --> HNT

So, yesterday was the funeral. I don't mean to offend anyone by this at all but I have never been to a black Baptist funeral. I have to admit that I was a little nervous for all of the "hallelujah's" and "praise the lord's". There weren't as many as I thought. I did even catch myself nodding my head to the preachers words and even let a few "amen's" slip out...

All in all, it was a beautiful ceremony and I had nothing to worry about. Funerals make my sweet one all nervous and sick to his stomach so of course he acted like a weirdo all day but I forgive him...funerals are definitely not something easy to deal with.

After the cemetery visit we all headed back to the church for "fellowship" as they called it. Basically - talking and chewing. And let me tell you, if you've never been to a black funeral they don't do the customary cold cut platters...I'm talking FOOD was served. Sweet potatoes, ham, chicken, mac n' cheese, green beans, corn pudding, rolls, meat balls, chocolate cake, sweet potato pie! Nothing like drowning your sorrows with some good old comfort food. They do know how to live and to die I suppose.

Anyway, I'm glad that day is over and the family can get moving on their road to recovery and concentrate on the good memories they had with their wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, etc...

Make sure that you all give someone you love a hug today - even if that means you have to put your arms around yourself and squeeze. We could all use a little love sometimes. I'm sending a hug out to each and every one of you...

In September the sweet one and I are going on two trips. One is very adult, yet still cool - we'll trash it up some how. The other is oh so adolescent and drunken college trip! Basically, I can't wait for either because they both revolve around some of my very favorite things!

First we are going to Napa - CA. We are staying in Napa for two nights and then in San Fran for two nights. I think we may get a Lincoln to drive us around Napa so we can drink our faces off, oh, I mean "taste" wine and not have to drive all tore up! I am so excited. And my best friend and her husband will be joining us and they are fun, fun, fun and love to drink as much as me and the sweetie so it's gonna be all good~

Second Sept. trip is to Austin for the Austin City Limits Music Festival. I have never been but a lot of people I know have and the music line up looks pretty tasty so I'm pumped about that. A large group of us will be going so this will be a sloppy, drunken weekend. No fine wines and dinner at restaurants. I will be drinking my meals that weekend. I plan to wake up on Monday and say, what happened? Then look at the pictures on my camera and say...Oh, right! Let's just hope all clothing stays on. I have this HORRIBLE habit when I'm drunk of either mooning or showing my boobies. One time a friend of mine brought a 35mm cam out with him and made the terrible mistake of leaving it on the table in front of me and one of my best friend's. We had been drinking all day long...When he got his pictures developed they were all shots down the shirt, up the shirt, down the pants (front and back). I think it was a 36 picture roll...he he. We are such children.

I need to start a countdown. What I really need to do is save money! I am so broke right now. The only bad thing is, I am excited to go on my trips, BUT I don't want summer to be over! What ever is a girl to do?

Have any of you Texans (or non-texans) been to ACL? Will any of you in bloggerville be there this year?

5 Questions...

Oh Wopanese! You little devil! Okay, I'm going to attempt to answer these without boring the piss out of everyone. Here we go...

1. Why has that other hole gone unplugged for 10 years? (The extra earring hole) HA HA! 'other hole' gets me every time...seriously, probably because I'm lazy and I really think having a second hole (he he, I'm such a child) was kind of a childhood fad. Yes, I know, not very interesting...

2. I know you said not to ask about the pirate/skull & crossbones thing... but, as I have never given much over to listening to rules anyway, how about you think back to when this fascination started? What is it that draws you to them? Okay, I said not to ask about the pirate thing probably because I am not quite sure why I am so obsessed with them. Maybe this could be like a therapy session for me. It started a few years ago. Maybe it's because they are so mean and scary, yet soo damn cool! Who wouldn't want to be a pirate? And this is the goofiest thing - do you know the traveling gnome? the travelocity thing? Well, my friends and I have a traveling pirate! It's a little pirate figuring, kind of like a G.I. Joe but a pirate. When ever one of us goes away we take it with us and take pictures of it. We have half a photo album full (and no I'm not joking!). The pirate has been to Ecuador, Vegas, california, etc...

3. If you were to suddenly get stranded on a deserted island and you could have any 10 things with you, what would they be and why? (yeah, okay - it's late, cut me some slack) Oooh, let's see:
1. A Volleyball named Wilson
2. A really long book (or 600)
3. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum (okay, a case or two)
4. Off (mosquitos love me)
5. A big ass knife
6. Flint/matches (yeah, I watch Survivor, so what?)
7. A pot or some type of fireproof container
8. A large bottle of Xanax...why? Why not??
9. A man I guess...he could build me a hut and then we could be all Blue Lagoon-like
10. Eyebrow grooming kit (tweezers and mirror) - When I get rescued I gotta look good!

4. The most commonly claimed most important attribute women claim to desire in a partner is a sense of humor. In my research I have come to accept that by "sense of humor", women often mean "looks like Brad Pitt (insert other attractive male to suit your taste)" Could you clarify what is most important to you in your mate? Okay, for me, and this could be taken as shallow or not, the initial attraction has to be there. The face, the body, whatever. Let's face it, if your not attracted to the person, chances are your not ever gonna find out if they have a 'good sense of humor'. I dig the back, the butt, hands and penis...ha ha! And yes, sense of humor is HUGE with me. First of all b/c if you don't have one you won't get my sense of humor at all or get along with me very well, and if you keep me laughing I don't have time to be a bitch...

5. Did you honestly just buy the Potter book by happenstance, or did you really pre-order.. ? (or did you just forget to pre-order, too busy as your social schedule sometimes appears to be?) I really, truly bought the book by happenstance. I am not one to cover up my embarrassing moments, even though some times I should. Hey if I can entertain people with my pathetic little life, great! I really don't think I would ever pre-order because I'm too cheap. If I can buy it used for $2 less on Amazon I'm on it. BUT I am a total dork. I love Harry Potter. I was actually just going to borrow it from a friend but I was so damn excited to find it at CVS that I went ahead and bought it.

I hope your satisfied Wop! I know I am...someone give me a cigarette.

Okay, now the god damned rules (I hate rules):
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "Interview me". ("Tickle me" or "Caress me" are completely acceptable substitutes.) You must leave your blog address so that I can think of good questions for you.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. I'll post the questions in the comments section of this post.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to my questions. Or you will die- oh sorry!
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in your post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I just realized that Raisin Bran makes me choke. Not because it tastes bad or anything. I like it. But for some reason the flakes make me choke and swallow all weird and then panic like I'm gonna need the heimlich. It's this weird gag reflex thing (eww, I just said 'gag reflex'). I'm really glad that I just figured this out after buying a 500 pound box of it at Costco. Now what the hell am I gonna do?

Ahhh Costco...the land of the large. Seriously, how could you not like this place? Any place that you can buy a 30 gallon jug of chocolate syrup for $3 is A - okay with me! It's funny when you're there too because you kind of talk yourself into things. Like, well, I need some cream cheese for my bagels. Well, hmmm, I guess I could find something to do with 3 pounds of cream cheese. Maybe I'll make a cheese cake, ooohh crab dip...??? Oh my parent's dog LOVES pig's ears. I wonder if a bag of 600 will be too many? It's quite hilarious actually, but damn I love that store!

I actually did something quite ridiculous too...I am a little embarrassed to admit this BUT...I bought gifts for my bridesmaids while shopping there tonight. And the answer is NO, I'm not engaged! HA HA HA...I am actually laughing out loud at myself right now!

Okay, here's the story; the sweet one and I have been together for over 7 years. Yes...7 looong, agonizing years, just kidding. Anyway, it's gonna happen soon enough. And any woman out there that has either been in a wedding or had a wedding or been involved in any way knows that you buy everyone in your wedding party gifts. My girlfriends have gotten me and the other bridesmaids things like silk pj's, flops to wear at the reception, earrings, candles, etc...I know that I want to get my ladies monogrammed terri cloth robes. Well, I've looked on line and you can't get them for less that $60 a piece. Well, they had them at good 'ole costco tonight for a reasonable $27 a piece. I bought 10 of them! Am I nuts? I look at it as preparing for the future...ha ha, I might be nuts...

Do you ear what I ear?..It's Half-Nekkid Thursday!

ear

So, here's my HNT picture. It's my ear. I have one earring in but two holes (he he, that didn't sound too good...)

Anyway, I wear these earrings almost every day. They are my fave's. I also don't think I've worn an earring in my second hole in over 10 years - so, that makes my ear half nekkid! I don't particularly fancy ears but this is what came to me so ENJOY!

For precise HNT rules and regulations please click and check it out!

my magical little wrist band

close up

I think this wrist band gives me special powers. Over people, over situations...it really does. I think I reduced my boss to a six year old boy because of this thing, seriously!

It also helps that I am kind of obsessed with pirates/skulls and crossbones, etc. Don't ask me why, Pirates are just cool! I think if I ever get another tattoo it will be a skull and crossbones (or my favorite professional football team - but that is a whole other can of worms that we don't need to open)

So really, all I wanted to say is that this wristband gives me special powers! Beware! YYAAARRGGGHHH...

sorrow...

Today has got to be one of the worst. It's rainy and dreary, work is making me crazy and this morning I received some of the worst news ever. My parents called me to tell me that a very close, dear family friend (I call him my uncle) lost his wife last night. She leaves behind two young children and a lot of people that love her. She has been battling Lupus and cancer for some time but it was still unexpected. The kids are old enough to know what's going on (I think they are in elementary and/or middle school) but still young enough that this will really impact their lives. I just feel helpless and raw right now. What do you say? What can you do?

This man is one of the nicest, kindest hearted souls to live. He would give you the shirt off his back and may have at one time in our relationship. He is a dear friend to my parents and you would think he was their sibling. They take care of each other, I guess that's just what you do. And I know that's what we'll do during this stressful, trying time. I know that he and his children will come together and strengthen each other's hearts and in time, they will get through this.

I am really thankful for this blog because even tho I know I am speaking into space, perhaps there are people reading, and maybe there are not but this is just what I needed. To speak my mind nonverbally. Sometimes that just really helps.

My Weekend in Pictures...

So, first and foremost I got my camera back!! WOO HOO! I am so excited, and I began Friday night by celebrating the return of my little friend. I started by ordering more than one beverage at a time. It made for a very interesting evening.



This is the lovely fish tank and the bar we were at:



The drinks were quite obviously starting to take effect because I started taking crotch shots...here is a shot of my sweet one's tempting crotch:



I played in a softball tournament on Saturday and did not take any pictures but can assure you that after playing ball in scorching heat for six hours they wouldn't have been pretty even if I did. By the time it was over I was tired, sweaty and dirty! BUT, instead of going home to rest I quickly showered and got ready for some drinking...exactly what you need after a long day of softball. As you can tell by yesterday's drunken post it was a successful evening. Although I implied there would be naked pic's I did the best I could...a before and an after and that's all you get. SO - here are the boobies fully clothed and then in just the bra. That's as good as it gets.

clothed boobies


bra boobies


Okay so waking up this morning was ROUGH! We all had hangovers from hell. I had so many plans for today. I really needed to clean my house from top to bottom and as lame as it sounds I had some work I wanted to get done to be prepared for the week ahead. Before anything could happen we needed some grease and carbs to get our bodies functioning again. We decided on the diner. Before you now ladies and gents we have one of the all time hangover cures...the oh so fizzy coke a cola! There was also water, coffee, an arnold palmer and an iced tea...we love our beverages.



And then, along with our meals we had the gravy fries. Oh my god were they good as hell. And you can see some other greasy concoction in the background.



So, back home to clean right? WRONG...we decided to spend the rest of the day at the pool. Then someone suggests that we go get some drinks. "It'll make you feel better, you know, a little hair of the dog"...right. Well, we are obviously a bunch of lushes because this is how the evening started off and it just progressed from there.

And, this fine specimen is a hotty we spotted crossing the street on a break from his jog. At first I thought I was suffering from beer goggle syndrome, but ohh no - this hot piece of ass was for real and all man from his headband to his fanny pack, this was no mirage ladies.

And the evening ended in a drunken haze without a lick of cleaning getting done. It appears that a pattern is forming. I am vowing to get up and work out tomorrow morning and never, ever breathe a word to trainy trainertons about what I ate and drank this weekend. And I know I'm only cheating myself but guess what...cheating yourself feels damn good sometimes! I hope everyone had a great weekend!

I am utterly and completely FUCKED UP right now. I'm not even quite sure how I managed to get to the blog since I can't type too good (he he) right now (I'm funny when I'm drunk, at least to me anyway)...I hope thie pic's of tonight do me justice...I might not be able to post them ( hopefully)...I';m trying to get laid bitches.

You know how when you drink wine it stains your teeth...well today the staining has moved into my eyes and if anyone in my office has ANY doubts about what I did last night, they just need to look at my face to figure it out. UUgghhh! Thank GOD it's Friday. Is it time to go home yet?
I would like a coffee, a water, a coke and a greasy bacon, egg and cheese sandwich please!

Boooobies for HNT!

Boooobies
Originally uploaded by the funky bee.

I'm still on reserve photos as the camera is still out for repair (sniff, sniff) but I think you will like this one...

This is my friend K's big ass boobies. She is six months pregnant and the baby gods have been good to her thus far. She normally isn't this well endowed so she and the hubby are pretty happy right now!

K is a spectacular girl, above and beyond her newly bodacious ta ta's. She's still hanging with the ladies (this photo taken last week at the beach with all the girls) and rocks out like the old days - at least as much as you can with an O'Dooles in your hand, but hey, at least she's trying. I can't wait until she pops that little sucker out so we can go out and get her drunk again!

Enjoy your Half-Nekkid Thursday everyone!

So I get to work this morning and I'm in the elevator and someone says "did you have a nice weekend?", are you kidding? When was the weekend? the last two days have felt like two weeks. This work thing is killing me...I can't wait until Friday.

Anyway, this is so random but I needed a few supplies for the office so I decide to run down the road to the trusty Office Depot. That is where I get my - I'm too poor to shop so I'll go spend company money on crap fix. So, you know how some places you go you just expect a certain type of person to be working there? You know, the places you find the less than brilliant, the less than helpful, the evil attitudes when asked to do the simplest parts of their job? Well, generally Office Depot, at least in my area, is not one of those places. It's more of the techy computer geek kind of place, which I like b/c when I'm looking for something they can actually find it and are willing to exert some energy to complete the task at hand. So, I walk in, find my items and go to pay for them - simple enough. Once at the counter here is the exchange:

Cashier: Hello, I love your shoes!
Me: thanks, I got them at Bakers last year but they might have them this season too.
C: Oh I love that store, I need to get there.
Me: Yeah me too
C: I love your necklace, it goes so well with your outfit
Me: Umm thanks, yeah I think Bakers is having a sale right now you should check it out.
C: Yeah, one time, I went to my husband's house (okay, so she doesn't live with her husband I gather??) and I took a pair of shoes that I bought from Bakers and I put them under the bed so that his girlfriend would find them (okay, so her husband has a girlfriend ??)
Me: Oh really? Hmmm, seems kind of crazy, I would never waste a good pair of shoes on a bad man.
C: Oh no, it was worth it. I wanted to fuck them up, make her think he was cheating on her. They don't know I still have a key to his place.
Me: Ummm, k. (praying that she will speed the process up and hurry up and give me my receipt for my 3 items - I am getting too much info here and this qualifies as WAAAY to much information!!)
2nd Cashier: Cashier One - will you ring this (big item, maybe a printer, couldn't tell) and put it on blah blah's log, thanks (and walks away)
C: (after C2 is gone) Shiiit, I aint doing that shit. What she think I'm stupid? I aint givin nobody credit. I deserve that shit. Give someone the credit for some shit I rang up? Oh hell naw!
Me: (please, please, please let me leave before ghetto girl gets all medieval on my ass) Okey dokey, well, have a nice day (hand outreached for the receipt)
C: Yeah you too...(finally gives me receipt - look in her eye says I will start another conversation with you if you don't immediately turn around and break eye contact with me and haul ass out of the store)

WTF just happened in there? It was like I walked into the twighlight zone! One minute I'm in Office Depot, the next I am in a really bad scene gone worse in the movie Friday ! I was just waiting for someone to get "knocked the fuck out!" WOW, I don't think she likes her job too much -what do you think? It was quite interesting. I hope the next time I go in there I don't encounter her again. I can't imagine she'll be working there too much longer...

Since I am lazy and a slob I decided to wear a shirt to work today that I happened to wear out on Saturday night and now I smell like a smokey bar! AAAHHH - I bet everyone who walks in my cube thinks I smell purdy! Yuck, I am kind of making myself sick! It didn't smell this bad when I put it on this morning I SWEAR! I hope body spray, lotion and the fact that I showered today kind of makes it less obvious. Yikes...